Just Josh O’Connor

Wake Up Dead Man: A Knives Out Mystery opens in theatres November 26, in time for American Thanksgiving, and starts streaming on Netflix on December 12, just in time for Christmas. The LA premiere was last night and director Rian Johnson was joined by cast members Kerry Washington, Cailee Spaeny, and Josh Brolin but no sign of Jeremy Renner, who is embroiled in a scandal, or Daniel Craig who, I dunno, probably didn’t feel like flying to the US. It doesn’t matter. Because all I want to talk about is Josh O’Connor anyway and, besides, Sarah will have a full review of the film coming next week. 

Wake Up Dead Man world premiered at TIFF in September and while I covered the red carpet, my show schedule didn’t allow me to stay for the screening. Which means I only just saw it today, literally just got back from the theatre. Going back to that red carpet though – it was fun, everyone was there to have a good time, my interviews went great. But the standout, for sure, was Josh. We were playing around with puns (the character names in this movie are very punny) and talking about how one way or another, he always becomes a meme, and my takeaways were: Josh O’Connor is tall and cute and not an asshole. Having now seen this movie, I need to update my takeaways: Josh O’Connor is tall and cute and not an asshole and OMG he is so f-cking sexy, I AM DOWN BAD. 

Seriously, within the first five minutes, I leaned over to my producer, Nigel, and said, Jesus Christ, not me wanting to f-ck the priest. And it’s not Andrew Scott – who is also in this movie, but he is not nearly as horny as Josh O’Connor, no one is as horny as Josh O’Connor. I am obsessed with Josh O’Connor. 

And it’s not like I’ve never appreciated Josh O’Connor in his various projects, including Challengers etc etc. Of course I went into this knowing that Josh O’Connor has been one of the internet’s boyfriends and has been throwing down solid performances over the last few years. But I am here to tell you, something hit different about him in this Knives Out Mystery and I won’t be the only one in heat once more people see it. I’ve been blowing up Sarah’s phone about him for the last hour since I came out of the screening and she texted back that “there is going to be such demented fanfic for this movie; everyone’s going to be so horny for the hot priest, again”. Confirmed. Fanfic is already happening in my mind. 

Especially seeing him in this beautiful suit with the bow tie and the wide leg pants that kinda sorta look like religious robes. 

And his adorable mousy little smile…

And the way he’s holding onto Josh Brolin here like a clingy little brother…

It’s been a while since I’ve been this pathetic over an actor. But if you aren’t already here, you’ll be joining me in a few weeks. I’ll wait patiently in my blasphemy and pretty soon we can all be damned together. 

Who else has a Josh O'Connor problem? Who's looking forward to another installment of Knives Out? Squawk! (App link here)