Yesterday I got a marketing email that completely baffled me. It was a “media alert!” announcing that this morning there would be a “live launch” of Bond 25, and as I read the email, I legit laughed out loud. They’re trying it? This week? THIS week of ALL weeks? This week and next week are the two busiest pop culture weeks of the year. It’s Endgame-Winterfell Week(s), with that massive Endgame premiere going down, and when all conversations, hot takes, and think-pieces revolve around the Avengers and Game of Thrones. What are you doing trying to “live launch” anything not related to the Avengers or Game of Thrones? Whoever proposed this live launch for TODAY OF ALL DAYS should be fired.
And they shouldn’t be fired just for the timing—which again, is spectacularly bad—but because there is not really enough info here to justify a live event (let alone one trying to pull focus from the AVENGERS and GAME OF F-CKING THRONES). They confirmed Rami Malek will play the villain, which we already knew, and that Phoebe Waller-Bridge is contributing to the script, which we also knew. Lea Seydoux is returning, as is Ralph Fiennes, Ben Whishaw, and Jeffrey Wright, and Captain Marvel’s Lashana Lynch has been added to the cast. That was a new piece of news, but as much as I like Lynch, I don’t think announcing supporting casting justifies this press event during Avengers-Winterfell Week.

Also, there is no title. If you’re going to make everyone get up at the ass crack of dawn (the event happened at 7 AM central standard time, which is not quite dawn but MY POINT REMAINS), can you at least throw a title our way? No? Then you’re not ready for a big press event during Avengers-Winterfell Week. Telling me the new Bond movie will partially take place in Jamaica and confirming a bunch of news we’d already heard is not worth this hype without a title. Whose idea was this? Did they have a mustache they twirled as they announced their plans for this “live launch”? Did anyone look at the calendar and go, “Hey, maybe we should wait a couple weeks as the entertainment news cycle is being dominated by the two biggest forces of pop culture - with Taylor Swift lurking too - and we will be squashed amongst the memes and dead pools circulating on the internet”? You can watch the Bond 25 non-event below, or you can read Lainey’s dead pool for the Battle of Winterfell and start making your Survivor Bingo Card. The free space is Ghost because he’s definitely going to die. (Lainey: whyyyyy are you hurting me like this, Sarah? WHY?!)