As always, we are recapping who won and who lost on this week’s episode of Succession. This was set up almost like a Frasier plot, with people running in out of rooms in a panic, all trying to pretend everything is OK while things are comically falling apart. As always, spoilers abound.
Hotter than Stewy’s luscious head of hair:
Stewy “dress shoes with no socks” Hosseini: Besides being fine AF, he’s smooth, cool under pressure and is in a win-win situation because I can’t imagine Stewy actually cares about this company as anything more than a toy. It’s Sandy who wants to stick it to Logan. Stewy is just there for the drama.
Sandy Jr: Not sure where she came from or what her deal is, but I just know she f-cked the Roys over. It’s about more than the private jets. She knew Shiv was working her with the double board seat but let it happen for a reason. Early on in the negotiation, Logan said they could have had all of this in Greece, why do they want it now? That’s what was nagging at him. And he’s right: something changed, but we don’t know how that will play out until the board comes together.
Gerri: She sailed through this by not getting rattled, emotional, or sucked into the drama. She doesn’t take anything personally (like when both Shiv and Roman got pissy with her about the Roy clause). She is about the deal and the paperwork (and the power), not the acclaim. At the end of the negotiation, Logan goes straight to her for next steps because deep down he knows she’s a rock. Since he’s so crusty with Shiv, Gerri’s spot will be safe for now.
“Dynamic COO” Roman Roy: Did you see how he preened when Gerri mentioned his name in her speech? Or how he checked Greg for fraternizing with her? But there was a moment of doubt too when the Roy successor clause came up. As he told Gerri, she picked her prince and now she has to stick with him. Overall, Roman spent most of this episode as an optimist, sure his dad would win because that’s what his dad does. But what will a post-private jet life be like for Romulus?
Independent presidential nominee Connor Roy: He’s on this list because he refused to go away, even when everyone tells him to go away. And he’s not afraid to push through and ask Logan for a favour even though it’s clearly not a good time. Perseverance has to count for something.
Frank the Tank: If Logan fires him again, he has a real future with Toastmasters. Also, when Logan was piss mad, did you see how upset he was that someone was “mean to Frank”? Like genuinely concerned for his pal.
Greg, no egg: So he lost his inheritance and might get burned by Kendall and he’s embroiled in a DOJ investigation, but overall? Things don’t look that dire for Greg because, as of right now, he doesn’t have any enemies.
Greenpeace: They are getting all of Ewan’s money, even though Greg is pre-emptively planning to “affectionately” sue for it. Here’s the thing with Ewan: he’s an asshole. A different kind of asshole than his brother, but an asshole all the same. He has not ever tried to help Greg in any material way: he is moody and cranky and cryptic. He lords his money over his daughter and grandson. I doubt he ever took a real interest in Greg or taught him a thing. And it seems as if he made that money through an enterprise he claims to despise. So why the f-ck didn’t he cash out his shares a long time ago? You can’t be sitting on millions of dollars from Waystar and be sitting on a high horse at the same time. Pick a lane, Ewan.
Colin (last name withheld): Is Logan nicer to anyone than he is to his body man? This man knows all the secrets (like Ken’s accident) and has been with Logan at his most vile (threatening a contractor) to his most vulnerable (sick and scared). He’ll even remove an imaginary dead cat. That kind of loyalty is hard to find.
Terminal Tom: Fine, Tom should be in the loser column because he’s tracking Shiv’s cycle with his iCal without telling her, but the delivery of “papa” killed me too much to stick him down there. Was Logan piss mad when he asked Tom to first help him to the washroom, or was he fine? Either way, it’s a great choice because in that room, Tom is the one person who will help you pee without judgement. He’s a caretaker married to someone who resents that side of him. Logan recognized that care for a moment but because he despises comfort and affection, he will see Tom as weak (if he remembers it at all). Yet for one brief moment, there was a connection and it was beautiful.
Old white men: Sick, confused, incapacitated and yet, still in power, with control over billions of dollars and thousands of jobs. Forget cancel culture, this is coma culture.
Colder than the turkey sandwiches at a corporate event:
The Raisin: The Roys bullied a sitting president into quitting? Hahahahahaha. (But again, Succession is never too fictitious, if you’ve been paying attention.)
Iverson’s bunny: The nanny was clear on the bagels. What’s the over/under on this poor rabbit making it to US Thanksgiving?
Kendall: Ken being relegated to service entrances and pretty much a non-factor in the negotiations and at meetings, spinning out like a top and with no real recourse, is exactly what he didn’t want. The fight with his siblings over the negotiations showed how outside of the game he is because even though he was correct in that it was a good deal, there have been so many lines crossed that there’s a real sense of hatred between the kids that wasn’t there before. Also, when he got up and read the victims’ name, it’s was so f-cking cringe. First of all, do these women want their names to be read out loud? By someone from the family that harmed them? It’s performative nonsense and in a trite way, this is why Ken won’t win: because he’s not real. He’s telling himself (and everyone else) to “f-ck the patriarchy” when all he really wants to change is the CEO seat. Sitting in a room by himself, blocked from his dad’s cellphone, puts him on another planet. We are halfway through the season and I’m convinced that the next half will be Ken trying to get back into Logan’s good graces, which will start with freezing up on the DOJ.
The Piss Mad King: Logan despises nostalgia, doesn’t like to reminisce, hates talking about the past. That’s what makes his descent into “madness” (temporary confusion caused by missing his medication) so fascinating: he went right back to his past – to his sister Rose, to Ewan, to Marcia and even to Caroline. Somewhere in his subconscious, Logan is wrestling with all of these people and feelings that he doesn’t allow himself to process. Stress, pride, and his health made his mind tap out, at least temporarily. A man who completely controls everything was out of control and when he woke up, the work was done. That’s what he missed out, the feeling of gutting his enemy. That’s why he’s so miffed at seeing Shiv celebrate her win – because that win came from him and he can’t abide that. Even though she’s a soldier fighting for him, it’s not enough of a bloody battle. Now he needs to balance the ledger; until he wins a fight through brute force, he won’t be satisfied. There’s one person left standing that he can beat up and that’s Kendall.
Siobhan “gets sh-t done” Roy: Shiv falls under cold but she should be hot. She was steadfast in her negotiations, calculated but not reckless. She recognized that Logan’s ego was not worth the risk of losing control forever. (And she handled the stress while asserting her reproductive rights!) But because Logan decided he was cross with her even before she said a word, she’s in the center of the action but left out in the cold. This is what radicalized Kendall – remember when he saved the company from Logan’s secret debt, only to be chastised for it when Logan woke from his semi-coma? The same thing is happening to Shiv and this could very well be her Joker moment. In this family, even wins feel like losses.