Tom Cruise Chills, Chills, Chills: Katie trapped! New US Weekly…and once again, Janice Min is killin’ it. I mean, holy sh-t, gossips… this is BOLD. This is a direct assault on Tom Cruise. This is basically calling him a sadistic freak, controlling his wife, keeping her sequestered, keeping her nailed down to the house, and she’ By Lainey • Mar 21, 2007 08:00 am
Victoria Beckham The Daily Bitch … Please: Victoria Beckham Precisely why I worship her: the Chav, the concrete tits, the c*ckblow lips, the posing, the posturing, and now this… Posh lamenting about being away from David, about how hard it is, how her heart aches at the separation, how her CONSTANT jaunts to Los Angeles to shop and By Lainey • Mar 08, 2007 07:00 am
Nicky Hilton The Daily Possessed: Ashley Olsen Their style has been much maligned. Personally? There is something about it I like very much. I like that I don’t see their billionaire hooters. I like that they’re not Mystic Tanned up the ying yang. I like that I can look at MK’s mouth without picturing By Lainey • Mar 05, 2007 07:00 am
Penelope Cruz Posh: when she smiles See? When she smiles it’s SO much better. And when you have a chance you should YouTube all her clips – much less plastic when she’s in motion, and you almost don’t even notice the concrete tits, especially when she’s laughing and fluttering about. Seriously gossips, when By Lainey • Feb 21, 2007 07:00 am
Victoria Beckham Posh in LA: the open toe boots All over the outfit. Covet the outfit. And what of the boots? On me? Absolutely not. On me it’s massage parlour employee, tacky ass gel nails and some whitey loser with an Asian fetish pulling over and offering $500 for the mythical Chinese blow. On Victoria Beckham? Love it. By Lainey • Feb 19, 2007 07:00 am
Brad Pitt Jake G: the Pants Issue Not to long ago, I posted this article about Brad Pitt’s pants, specifically the way he wears his pants, the way a man can wear a pair of pants and be even sexier than he’d be if he took them off. Brad Pitt has a body made for By Lainey • Feb 16, 2007 07:00 am
Victoria Beckham The Daily Quiveration: Zizou is back sh-t. Now I need to kick someone off the Freebie Five again to bring back Zizou. So who? How about Harry? Something tells me Harry doesn’t dig Asians. Something tells me Zizou digs the United Nations a whole lot. Zizou it is. Zizou will return to the Freebie Five By Lainey • Feb 09, 2007 07:00 am
Victoria Beckham Three Spices out for Dinner In London last night – of course my girl Posh had to outshine the other two. Note the elegant but understated Geri and Emma while Victoria shows up in leather and spots and red lipstick just in case no one noticed. Love.Her. As you can imagine, all this has prompted By Lainey • Feb 08, 2007 07:00 am
Katie Holmes The Beckhams’ MiniBreak Arriving at Nice Airport yesterday apparently on a minibreak from his duties with Real Madrid, coordinated and “camera shy” per usual. But this is what I love about Posh & Becks. They might “say” they don’t want to be photographed and they might plead with photographers not to take By Lainey • Feb 06, 2007 07:00 am
Kirsten Dunst Beautiful Drew Five Times Live Her 5th time hosting SNL did not disappoint – a resurgence in the show of late, non? And she looked amazing. Slim but still curvy, glowing, great skin, a better smile, not afraid to skewer anyone…including 12 year old Dakota Fanning, quite obvious now that the awkward-no-one-can-stand-her phase is in By Lainey • Feb 05, 2007 07:00 am
Katie Holmes Katie Holmes: calling creativity Girl needs a new speechwriter. I mean, I understand the need to grease the MiniVan Majority, to craft a perfect perfect illusion and a picture perfect existence, but creativity still counts for something and in the creativity department, the Cruise strategy is for sh-t. I mean if she’s going By Lainey • Feb 02, 2007 07:00 am
Katie Holmes The Daily Gorgessity: Katie Holmes And isn’t this why it’s so sad? To be captured by Tom Cruise, to be robbed of such beauty? When such beauty could have been paired with Leo? Or someone less…Scientologised? Katie inside and on the upcoming cover of Harpers Bazaar. Only screen caps – better quality to By Lainey • Feb 01, 2007 07:00 am
Victoria Beckham The Daily Rossum: Victoria Beckham She’s hawking her own line of high end clothing – according to UK tabloids she’s hired model Daniella Sarahyba as the face of her designs. The reason: Danielle is what Posh calls “voluptuous”, specifically chosen because Mrs Beckham does not want to promote excessive thinness, preferring instead to show By Lainey • Jan 31, 2007 07:00 am
Victoria Beckham A Call From David Beckham He might be a philandering greedy arse married to a set of concrete tits, but once in a while it"s nice to know he doesn"t think only for himself.... Thanks to all of you who forwarded the article in the Toronto Star, of David"s By Lainey • Jan 26, 2007 07:00 am
Victoria Beckham The Beckham Breast Sling Debuts in Paris This is what happens when your tits outweigh your body. Check it out – Victoria in Paris for the Gaultier show, six months ago she had to go as Katie’s plus one, but now that the $250 million has been made public, every designer is fighting for the right to By Lainey • Jan 24, 2007 07:00 am
Victoria Beckham Posh & Karl: Concrete Tits & The Bitchbeating Fan Ok…how can you not LOVE this? I. Worship. Posh in plastic glory and a killer pants suit with Le Karl himself at Paris Fashion Week trying to out-stoneface each other in a posing frenzy - now THAT’s what I call tacky-ass heaven. Not surprisingly, Victoria is in town By Lainey • Jan 23, 2007 07:00 am
