Well, this shouldn’t be a surprise. Drake knows how to capitalise on social media almost better than anyone else, with the exception of maybe BTS, in ordinary times so he obviously knows how to take advantage of it right now, when everyone’s on lockdown and on their devices more than ever, consuming more content than ever. 

 

Last week Drake released his new song “Toosie Slide”, without even pretending that he wasn’t trying to turn it into a TikTok trend. Then he released a video for the song that was a tour through his extra AF house in Toronto. Then that extra AF house in Toronto was profiled in Architectural Digest. And now the song is #1. In becoming #1, Drake now has a new record he can brag about on his next record. Per Billboard via Vulture: 

“Toosie Slide” is his third No. 1 debut after “God’s Plan” and “Nice for What” in 2018, a feat only matched by Mariah Carey with “Fantasy” and “One Sweet Day” in 1995 and “Honey” in 1997. It’s his seventh career No. 1 hit, his first being for Rihanna’s “What’s My Name?” on November 20, 2010. The only other artist with seven No. 1s since November 20, 2010 is … Rihanna. The song is also his 50th total week at No. 1, which ties Boyz II Men and only sits behind Mariah Carey, Rihanna, and the Beatles. He also now has 37 top-ten hits, one behind Madonna’s record of 38. And over on the Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs chart, where he also debuted at No. 1, he ties Aretha Franklin and Stevie Wonder with 20 No. 1s. That’s not to mention records he already holds, like most charted songs on the Hot 100 (which he set with “Oprah’s Bank Account” by Lil Yachty and DaBaby, his 208th entry as of March 23, dethroning none other than the Glee cast). So there you have it: Drake, an artist who now charts toe-to-toe with Rihanna, Mariah Carey, Stevie Wonder and Aretha Franklin, hit No. 1 again thanks to a song that explains a dance.”

Yep, that’s Drake. 

 

What can you say at this point? His house is ugly. Fine. His house is in a video for the #1 song that you can’t escape on Instagram or Twitter or YouTube or TikTok and people keep dancing to it – with their friends, their mothers, their fathers, their children, their pets, their stuffy toys, whoever it is they’re trapped in the house with. 

We were trapped. And the Drake trapped us again. 

So what does it matter to him if you hate his f-cking house? You’re also making it so that he keeps winning – and I say “you” because, well, are we all responsible? I know you know someone who’s done the “Toosie Slide” and posted it on IG. Or, even worse, danced to “Toosie Slide” on Zoom during a group chat. 

 

Anyway, because he’s Drake and because he can and also because he can’t (stop himself), he’s released another video, or something, to celebrate his latest achievement. No one knows really if this is a teaser to a second “Toosie Slide” video or if it’s just a flex for his song and the new design of his plane. And remember, his is a proper Boeing cargo jet. It’s real. Most people imagine their own plane. (Or they fake it.) Drake just animate