Yesterday, I wrote my most heartbreaking post yet about Michael Bae Jordan’s night out in St. Tropez with his “rumoured girlfriend” Ashlyn Castro. Before yesterday, I didn’t know MBJ had a rumoured girlfriend. I didn’t know Ashlyn Castro existed. As Lainey put it, “I thought he was with you!” Exactly. I DID TOO. Delusional, remember? I identified this woman as Ashlyn Castro because other outlets did first (the Daily MailTMZ) and because I had no reason to believe they misidentified the woman in the photos. 

Then y’all started to email and tweet me. Some of you are convinced that the woman in the club with my future husband is not his “rumoured girlfriend” Ashlyn Castro. I did a deep dive into her Instagram account and honestly, this looks like it could definitely be the same woman to me. One reader called me “blind.” I mean, love IS blind but I don’t think it’s my devotion to Michael Bae Jordan affecting my vision. Both women have long brown hair, similar body types and facial features. But so does every Kardashian-imitation model on Instagram. Sure, if you compare the woman in the photos and Ashlyn Castro’s Instagram pics, their skin tones are slightly different but maybe Ashlyn just got some sun while hanging out in France. Am I blind? 

In this photo from Ashlyn Castro’s Instagram, she and the Woman in the Club LOOK THE SAME. 


A post shared by Ashlyn Castro (@ashlyncastro) on

But in this one she posted today, they don’t… really? I don’t know anymore. This is ridiculous. 


A post shared by Ashlyn Castro (@ashlyncastro) on

If you scroll through Ashlyn’s comments, many people are all-caps yelling that it’s not her in the club with MBJ. The other half are yelling at her for stealing their man. I’m not even THAT delusional. Out of respect, I only all-caps yelled at her in my brain. Ashlyn has yet to respond. If it isn’t her in the club, wouldn’t she want to make that clear? Especially since her mentions are a MESS right now. Let’s say that Ashlyn and MBJ have been dating since December and let’s say that isn’t her in the club. Maybe she wouldn’t want to put it on blast that her “rumoured boyfriend” is in St. Tropez grinding up on someone else (who looks eerily similar to her). Or maybe it’s her. Or maybe they’re not exclusive and she doesn’t give a f-ck. 

“I love that this is now a full-blown investigation because none of you can accept that this is more than just a Woman in a Club situation.”

That was Lainey making fun of me when I told her how many emails I was getting about this. It would be better for my daydreams and my sanity if the woman in the photos isn’t Michael Bae Jordan’s girlfriend. It would be better if she was just an unidentified Woman in a Club because then, I can go on living in a world where I truly believe Michael Bae Jordan is just meandering through life waiting for me to arrive. 

Both TMZ’s and the Daily Mail’s posts identifying Ashlyn by name are still up. So, it’s totally Ashlyn Castro, right? Are we fighting?