Variety yesterday published another installment of their Actors on Actors series, this time featuring Jennifer Aniston and Sebastian Stan. Again, as mentioned, these interviews are in service of Emmy season campaigning, as Jen is in the running for her performance as Alex Levy in The Morning Show season two and Sebastian is in contention for playing Tommy Lee in Pam & Tommy


We’ll get to the part of their conversation that’s making the most headlines but first I want to start with Jennifer Aniston appreciation because she went for it and asked about the penis. If you haven’t watched Pam & Tommy, there’s a scene where Tommy talks to his dick. And his dick talks back. And you see his dick talking, they have a whole conversation. Jen, like most human beings, celebrity or not, wanted to know the, um, mechanics of it. The reason I’m highlighting this is because I enjoy that this is the energy she brought to the discussion. Some people show up for these things and they feel like they have to be in Serious Actor mode (I haven’t watched the Anne Hathaway and Jeremy Strong Actors on Actors piece but if there’s anyone I would predict would be like that, it would be him) and here’s Jen Aniston all like… 

So let’s talk about the penis. 


We start with dicks, though, and we end on love. 

Because what Jen gets Sebastian to reveal about himself is that he loves rom-coms. And now, everyone is Gossip Genie-ing an Aniston-Stan rom-com. I mean, they already have the most obvious portmanteau: STANISTON. 

Based on that alone, it should happen. And it should be as formulaic as possible. She’s a cookbook editor, he’s the brother of one of her chef authors who barely puts in any work and has passed everything on to her without giving her the credit. He shows up at the book launch, tries one of the menu items, makes a quip about the flavour, she gets offended but also turned on …and eventually they f-ck but first she has to finally take control of her own creativity and get over the hang-up of dating someone younger. 


That’s just my first stab at it. I have, like, at least a dozen other different but similar scenarios. With outfit recommendations. Who can throw money at this and make it happen?