The biggest story right now about the British royal family should not be about who was or wasn’t invited to a birthday party and what to a birthday party. What it should be about is the second son of the Queen of England being sued for sexual abuse. Prince Andrew, son of the reigning monarch, friend of the dead rapist pedophile Jeffrey Epstein, has been accused of sexual abuse of a then minor for years. Now a lawsuit has been filed. Can we say that again? A lawsuit has been filed in American court against Her Majesty’s son. 


This family of pearl-clutchers, this institution of propriety, where it’s frowned upon if you use the wrong fork, or don’t bend your knees enough to curtsy, or wear dark nail polish, or don’t wear stockings – one of its members is BEING SUED FOR SEXUAL ABUSE OF A WOMAN WHEN SHE WAS A MINOR. What’s the f-cking protocol on that?! 

In case you missed it, Virginia Roberts Giuffre, one of Jeffrey Epstein’s victims, who has said for years that she was sex-trafficked by Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell to Prince Andrew on multiple occasions, filed a lawsuit against Prince Andrew, the disgraced child of Queen Elizabeth II. Prince Andrew and Buckingham Palace have repeatedly denied wrongdoing. But Prince Andrew also pledged that he would work with US authorities in their investigation against Epstein and Maxwell and hasn’t followed through on that. He also can’t quite explain how he ended up in a photograph with Virginia when she was 17 years old in Maxwell’s home. 

Prince Andrew has been on lockdown since before the pandemic, stepping away from public duty in November 2019 after his disastrous interview on BBC NewsNight. Since then he’s been horseback riding on his mother’s land, and hanging out comfortably in the properties gifted to him by his ma, probably ringing for tea and sending it back when it’s not hot enough for him. 


Even though Andrew does not have diplomatic immunity, as this is a civil case, it’s unlikely he’ll be extradited to the US although it is also unlikely he’ll ever travel there again. Buckingham Palace has not commented on the recent developments. Still, even though he may not be compelled to answer to a court, there’s a chance the trial could proceed in his absence and he could pay damages. 

And if that’s a possibility…WHO pays the damages? 


It’s not like he’s making any money. It’s not like he’s ever had any skills to make money other than trading on his HRH which, by the way, he still has. I’m waiting for the calls and the editorials and the big bold block letter headlines calling for his HRH to be taken away from him. If being sued for sexual abuse isn’t enough to have your HRH stripped, what is? 

Lol, oh right. We know. 


If you’re Prince Andrew though, and you have repeatedly embarrassed your family and the Crown, with shady business deals and by associating with a rapist pedophile and now by getting sued for sexual abuse of a then minor, you’re still good! You’re still safely guarded by the royal institution. And also the British media. Because while they have reported on the lawsuit, the tone coming from some of these outlets is amazingly generous. Note the way this tweet has been phrased: 

Leading with Prince Andrew’s denials and following with Virginia Roberts Giuffre’s claims weakens her position. It questions the credibility of the victim and gives Andrew the benefit of the doubt. That must be nice, to get an assist like this. It must be nice to be the family f-ck-up and have this sh-t blow up in your face, when your ma is like 95 years old, and not have to deal with the media accusing you of driving her to the grave. They save that for other people. You know, like when they do the horrible thing of honour-naming their precious baby after the Queen.