We come here for gossip so I don’t want to hear “who cares, they are rich” or “who cares they are royalty” or any of the sort when it comes to Prince Harry and Meghan moving back to the UK. I CARE. The Sussexes are celebrities, the British royals are kind of the OG celebrities, this involves an ancient family business and estrangement (which is the psychological topic of the moment) – so this is not a buffet, it’s a banquet! Now first off, of course we hope this move is a want, and not a need. Considering all the health issues, let’s put good energy out for that.

As soon as I saw this story, I texted Lainey. It broke at PEOPLE.com so you know the UK tabloids are absolutely soiling their knickers over it because they are supposed to the ones who have exclusive sources and know everything that Charles and Will and Kate are thinking. You know nothing, Daily Mail! You know as much as I do (to be clear, nothing).

This move is fascinating because it took everyone by surprise and completely upends the narrative: die-hard Sussex fans now have to reconcile that a free Harry and Meghan are making a choice to be near his family in the UK. This is not a babe-in-the-woods situation. Harry wrote a book and there’s a documentary and lawsuits and Oprah – the Sussexes have experience, they are making a choice to move there with their children. Meanwhile, the royalists have to acknowledge that Harry and Meghan are still a massive draw and this will absolutely impact public perception in the UK.

The big question is, why? The UK tabloids are trying to spin the “no half in half out!” headlines. But why would we take this as truth when they didn’t even know Harry and Meghan were moving back? I’ll wait for PEOPLE for my Sussex reporting, thank you very much. It seems a lot of the “royal experts” that are being asked to speak on record didn’t know this was coming and have no insight into anyone’s frame of mind.

And let’s consider how the Sussexes are positioned: since settling in Montecito, Harry and Meghan have made a very concerted effort to separate day-to-day business, Meghan has As Ever and Netflix, Harry is a philanthropist. They have done nothing even close to scandalous or out of pocket publicly or financially while in the US. Even the clothes they choose are suitable for royal life.

PEOPLE’s initial report stated that Charles was made aware shortly before the story broke and that William and Harry are still “distant.” Just because they are in the same country doesn’t mean they will reconcile and maybe it’s too far gone, maybe there’s too much ego involved now. But someone with half a brain needs to call an all-hands meeting at Buckingham Palace or whatever drafty tower these people live in because this is a gift. This would be a royal story that isn’t a scandal, an affair, or centred around a sex pest. And the timing is great considering Princess Diana’s brother, Charles Spencer, is coming out with a memoir about her and it likely won’t be favourable to Charles and Camilla. If The Firm can get out of their own way, a reconciliation could wash away years of bad press.

This is why the UK publications are salty about being left out of the narrative but undoubtedly bursting with excitement, too. They win either way. Meghan will sneeze and it’s a day of headlines, so this is beyond their wildest dreams. Could it be possible that the media learned their lesson and won’t be invasive trolls this time around? No, but the upside is the media isn’t in control here. They don’t have direct access to the Sussexes or their staff with an “invisible contract.” Meghan and Harry don’t answer to the royal rota, they don’t need to make deals with the journalists, they don’t need to appease the courtiers, they don’t need any favours to cover up scandals. Today, Harry and Meghan are unburdened from the systems that kept them “silent and silenced,” to quote Oprah. The question now is, what do they want to say? Let's Squawk about it! (App link here.)

Photo credits: Andrew H. Walker/Shutterstock

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