Here are some photos of Jessica Chastain leaving Venice and then arriving at Heathrow today. I’d like to talk about her nose. I’ve just realised how much I love her nose. If you’ve been reading this blog a while, you’ll know that I have a nose fetish because of how I feel about my own nose. Which is a hawk nose. There’s bump on the bridge so it slopes slightly downwards. I get it from my ma, the Chinese Squawking Chicken who, naturally, thinks her nose is wonderful. There obviously was no way I could ever change my nose. And besides, changing noses f-cks with face mapping feng shui. I’d rather have an ugly nose than bad feng shui. So I admire noses from afar.

Jessica Chastain’s nose is so great.

It’s so straight.

It’s a strong long nose. It’s a nose that isn’t meek. It isn’t overly aggressive. It’s beautiful in profile. It’s perfect.