TMZ and US Weekly are both reporting that Jennifer Lopez and Slum Bear Casper Smart have ended their relationship. Rather than blaming it on cheating or inappropriate behaviour, both outlets claim it’s been heading this way for a while. US cites distance as one of the challenges they couldn’t overcome. TMZ’s version is that they’re been done for two months now, which means the allegations that Slum Bear was sexting a model had nothing to do with why he and JLO are no longer together. According to TMZ’s source:

"Casper has been a single guy and can text or see whoever he wants, but the idea that he was knowingly texting a transsexual is laughable. He's not that guy, but like a lot of single guys online he obviously likes to look at a 'lil T and A."

To me, it was irrelevant who he was sexting. The issue here is whether or not he was stepping out on JLO. But going out of his way to leak to the media that being attracted to a transgendered person would be beneath him is next-level offside. If he actually f-cking mattered I’d take more time to sh-t on his ignorance. Unfortunately for him however, his time has come to an end. At least I hope it’s come to an end. I hope she’s put it to an end. I hope I don’t have to put his face on my blog anymore.

Although he’ll keep trying.

This was the funniest part of the TMZ post about the breakup:

“We're told Casper will be pursuing acting, which is why he took show directing and choreography off his Instagram.”

HAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAAHAAHAHAAHAHAAHAAHAHAHA

But wait.

I don’t want to curtail your celebration. I really, really don’t. But we’re talking about JLO. And sometimes it can take her a while, you know? Like, if they were really done two months ago, why were they holding hands on May 21?

Come on, Lopez. Give us a good single summer.

Can we start making a list?