Dear Gossips,

F-cking teenagers. Sullen and reluctant, whether they’re humans or dragons. Sarah will probably defend Drogon in her recap later but come on, all he did was burp. That was basically his contribution. And now we have to wait ten months – TEN MONTHS! – until next season to see if he gets off his lazy ass and helps his mother.

In other news, there was a royal wedding this weekend. People keep trying to get me to care about Prince Carl Philip of Sweden and Sofia Hellqvist. He certainly is handsome, especially for a royal, since you know how royal lineage is often full of babies from brothers and sisters and uncles and cousins. And she was a reality show star. All promising requirements for good gossip. But then you what happened?

Big G, that famewhore, decided to cockblock everyone, including his own great-grandmother.

Yours in gossip,

Lainey