Smutty Social Media, February 1, 2016
Orlando Jones and Angela Bassett have a great casting idea for that Michael Jackson/Elizabeth Taylor/Marlon Brando roadtrip movie.
BRILLIANT! Ordered my violet contacts & bathed in White Diamonds this morning, so I'm READY! Let's do this! xo! Ang https://t.co/E8O4NY438y— Angela Bassett (@ImAngelaBassett) January 27, 2016
“Um” is right. A rare Shady sighting. It even left Lin-Manuel Miranda speechless.
This explains all of Carrie Underwood’s red carpet looks.
This is a great selfie. Do you think she changed seats with someone at her table so she could spy on him from afar? I totally would.
It’s best if you have a couple of minutes to follow the whole stream, but Derek and Cara’s 3-hour relationship was super intense. “You were too old for me anyways.” (Side note: what a brilliant viral marketing play, and so fresh they were even able to incorporate Kanye’s maybe ass play.)
Guys. Over the course of my 3 hour relationship with Cara Delevingne i learned a lot about myself. I learned a relationship is like a beautiful bird. If there is love, it can take flight. But if the bird is caged, it begins to feel trapped, like as if it was in a cage. but then if someone is calling that bird “more washed up than a russians blue jeans” or “dumber than brie”, then the bird gets it’s feelings super hurt. But then if the bird tries to get one last french kiss goodbye, and the girl punches him right in the beak and then hits the bird with his selfie stick (which you can pay me for ANYTIME), then thats lame to do to the bird. THEN! THEN! She gets the bird in a half nelson and threatens to get a restraining odor, that’s super lame. Then she nearly broke the birds ARM! Which REALLY-REALLY HURT CARA!!!! Like you could have broken the birds WING! Anyway… I WILL triumph in all of this. Our relationship ended as it began. With all love, respect and now a deep mistrust for cara delvigne. Whoever that is. Call me when you get a modeling career. I could have HELPED YOU. You were too old for me anyways. Now I know everyone has my back, and the last thing I want is a flame war on my insta. I dont need the negativity. Like I said, it’s all love. But if you wanted to go hate on HER insta and leave comments on what a HUGE mistake she just made, and tell her I’m totally happy and never think about her all the time and am probably out boning liek a million models already here in Paris. Please feel free to do that. #Namaste. Switching my Raya location to #ROME tomorrow. See you soon @penelopecruzoficial 😘.
I HATE bumpwatch, but doesn’t this seem like she wants us to bumpwatch?
Jessica Simpson has a manny and a really beautiful house.
Sophia Bush bought a typewriter that writes in cursive because of course she did. If you are at a flea market and find a typewriter, trunk, mason jars, a hutch you can refurbish (but never will), a locket, or an old timey phone you have to buy it. It’s twee hipster law.
I don’t care about the outfit or even whose house this is (Liam’s? Is it Liam’s?), but clean your kitchen Miley.
I couldn’t even tell that that’s a John Stamos cut out. Did you notice that Kevin Spacey’s SAG Awards speech mentioned “the theory of relativity”? He was referring to Relativity Media – if you’ve been following this story, you know it’s a confusing (fraudulent? Or just unfortunate?) mess and Kevin and his producing partner Dana want to run the studio’s tv and film interests. Vulture did a great breakdown on the players– read it here. You have to wonder why Kevin would even want to get involved in such a financial circus.