Valentino celebrated 45 years this weekend with a star-studded, extravagant, seemingly interminable celebration consisting of party after party after fashion show.

One of the lowlights had to be Sienna Miller – more on that later. Among the highlights, as usual – Uma Thurman who chose light and pale shades throughout the festivities as illustrated by the three showings attached.

What is it about Uma?

I love that she’s not fighting her age, that she isn’t super super taut anymore and she’s not killing herself sucking in either. I love that you can’t smell the desperation – that scent of longing youth that oozes off of Demi Moore. So much more civilised this way, don’t you think?

What else?

This bitch goes for what she wants. When she"s horny, she hits up some action. When she"s had enough, she doesn"t linger.  She"s never used, she"s never disrespected, she is forward as all hell, and she has a new boytoy - identity not important - who is warming her bed at the moment.

Uma Thurman: the Anti-Jennifer Aniston.