Teenage Drama Queen

December 20, 2013 17:10:53 Posted at December 20, 2013 17:10:53
Maria Posted by Maria
Photos:
Robin Marchant /Getty Images

Nothing wrong with being a teenage drama queen… when you’re a teen. But Lindsay Lohan is 27 – 27! – and still revels in behaving like the girl who was always crying and fighting with her boyfriend at parties.

Page Six reports that Lohan’s been causing sh-t with a group of New York teens, including Ralph Lauren model Morgan O’Connor. Apparently they were f-cking with each other for a minute and now he’s trying to cut it off. Poor kid, he didn’t know what he was getting himself into.

It’s the usual Lohan MO: She shows up uninvited. She locks herself in the bathroom to call her dad. She is emotionally distraught over everything. She’s aggressive with other females and reportedly called out an 18-year-old for having fake Balmain jeans. (Note to the 18-year-old: you are smart to buy a knock-off in this circumstance; Balmain jeans are so not worth it.)

Lindsay Lohan is an asshole, and not even an entertaining asshole. She’s embarrassing. She embarrasses herself and others. She has no shame. She still thinks she’s at Hyde and people should be tripping over themselves to lift the velvet rope for her.

George Clooney once said fame stunts your growth. Which means Lindsay is stunted in the Mean Girls era (it will be 10 years in 2014). But can we stop giving Lindsay credit for this? Tina Fey wrote it (based on a book by Rosalind Wiseman). Regina George is the name we remember, not Cady Heron.

Her last stint in rehab was supposed to mark a turning point. She sat down with the Mighty O and filmed a docuseries for OWN. She acknowledged some of her addictions. She swore up and down she was cleaning up her life and getting rid of bad influences. Is someone who shows up at the Dream Hotel (owned by her shady friend Vikram Chatwal) to crash a party that different from the Lindsay of last year, or 5 years ago? No. And that’s why as Lindsay gets older, she has to find new groups of 18-year-olds to hang out with. It takes them longer to figure out her pattern: drama, security/cops, fighting, hysterical phone calls.

Lindsay Lohan is the 25-year-old guy who hangs out at the local high school, showing off his red Camaro and doing donuts in the parking lot. Over the age of 15, we can all recognize what a loser that guy is. Lindsay is totally Camaro guy.

Attached – Lohan at an event earlier this week.

Previous Article Next Article