Cameron Diaz was in Paris last week for Fashion Week. She hooked up with good friend Gwyneth Paltrow at some point and together went back to London. Gwyneth, as you know, is tight with Stella McCartney. And recently they’ve invited Reese Witherspoon into the circle. Reese is in the UK promoting This Means War. On Tuesday night they all went out for dinner at the Arts Club which seems to be their go-to spot these days.

So...

What did they talk about? Who did they sh-t on?

Did they bore the sh-t out of Cameron with mommy anecdotes? Or, rather, did the three mommies join forces to talk some sense into the single girl who dry rides P Diddy at parties?

Say it with me as you swirl your cosmopolitan, hitch up your boot cut jeans, sling your Coach bag over your shoulder, and snap your French manicure back and forth:

Girlfriend, pull yourself together!

I don’t know that my G would actually say “girlfriend”. But I do know that Cammie D would respond to it.

God, it’s not like there aren’t so many other musicians, if it has to be a musician, who are so much less has-been than Sean f-cking loser Combs. Drake, Bruno Mars, Gavin DeGraw, just to mine from the top 40 charts...

I mean, I’d even be more down with Cameron Diaz humping on David Guetta - ew! - than I am with her continuing this embarrassment of an affair with P Diddy who sells at Dillard’s. Can’t imagine Gwyneth, Stella, and Reese not seeing it the same way.

Besides, you know who would really piss A-Rod off? Because that’s what we’re doing here, isn’t?

Kobe is single now.

Kobe and Cameron Diaz?

Cameron Diaz glaring front row across the court at Vanessa Bryant?

Please.

We ALL win.

Lay the GOOP on that, G. Before Kim Kardashian gets there.