To no one’s surprise, Taylor Swift announced on Yahoo yesterday that the new album is ready. And, as I reported repeatedly last week – click here for a refresher – it’s pure pop, by her own description.

1989. Her birth year. And because she’s been obsessed with the 80s. So the first single Shake It Off, with a video, is now upon us. And on top of us. And underneath us. And it will smother you, I promise, because you can’t get any friendlier for mass market radio than Taylor Swift. Especially Taylor Swift like this. Not even Katy Perry can challenge her. As some have called it, Shake It Off is the “perfect” pop song. How could it not be? That’s what machines produce: perfection.

She’s Avril Lavigne, only better.

She’s The Gap, only now.

She’s Miley, only beyond reproach.

She’s Justin Timberlake, only even MORE Teflon. Nothing sticks to that motherf-cker and nothing will stick to her, not even culturally insensitive imagery – what so many before her have already been criticised for, Taylor Swift will sail above it.

You remember that line from The Breakfast Club, during the confrontation part, when Judd Nelson’s John Bender is giving it to Molly Ringwald’s Claire?

“School would probably f-cking shut down if you didn’t show up. Queenie isn’t here!”

THAT is Taylor Swift.

And that’s what makes this video so incongruous. Because while she’s fronting here like she doesn’t fit into all these themes – ballerina, hip hop, dance, etc etc – when, really, has Taylor Swift ever been the girl who falls down? When? When hasn’t she been Queenie? She is ALWAYS Queenie.

So while she might call it Earnest – if earnest is the result of a lack of cleverness – what it is is actually Conceit.

You’ll note…

If you can’t be the ballerina, or the home girl, or the arthouse Gaga, or the sexpot soul sister…what’s left is…

Black cigarette pants, the perfect three quarter sleeve black turtleneck, big band and free dance – so, like, basically…CLASSIC. Audrey Hepburn classic. Which is about as classic and enduring as it gets. That will never go out of style. Widely considered then to be: The Best.

No doubt. She’s never not belonged. Fine. Just don’t serve it to me like it’s something else when, really, what she’s saying here is that in the end, she always ends up on top.

Attached - Taylor Swift out in New York in the same outfit as Reese Witherspoon was seen in here.