Gigi Hadid was one of the most prominent guests at Camp Swift this Independence Day. While others brought their boyfriends/girlfriends/wives however, Gigi went solo. Then Taylor’s private jet flew her back to New York to be reunited with Zayn Malik. They held hands leaving her apartment yesterday.

So…

Why didn’t Zayn come along? OK but seriously, can you actually picture Zayn participating in the games portion of the afternoon? Or showing up for cupcake duty? Zayn Malik does not do mandated happiness and, as Sarah puts it, “enforced merriment”. He’s English! There was a book that came out last year called That’s Not English. I read a review of it at the time and this was my favourite line:

“Evidently, the word ‘whinge’ has been in steady use in Britain since the 1500s, possibly because we haven’t stopped whingeing since.”

OK but how does that explain Tom Hiddleston? This is, I think, a good question. Are English people put off by Tom Hiddleston? This is a stoic nation. How do they feel about Tom Hiddleston’s “I (heart) TS” tank top?