Written by Sarah

Were boring. And old. And that wasn’t really Handler’s fault. She was a surprisingly on-point host, mixing her trademark raunch (“If you think Justin Bieber’s music is good now, just imagine how good it will be when he sees a vagina”) with the kind of mockery you like to see at an award show (“Don’t applaud for [Jersey Shore]. They’re the reason MTV doesn’t play your music videos anymore”). She didn’t drag down the show and had a few genuinely funny moments. That’s about as much as you can ask for from an MTV host.

Unfortunately for Handler, who begged the audience to be on their worst behavior to get those indelible VMA moments, everyone was on their best behavior. Eminem, with a boost from Rhianna, delivered a strong opening, and after that is was all a snore. The show was just…too old. And not old as in “used up and tired” but old as “aged and decrepit”. I’m 27—which I consider too old for MTV—and I thought the show was old, which means the 2010 VMAs were aged about 48. The running tally of top VMA-related tweets? Old. It’s 2010, not 2008. Everyone is on twitter and everyone is tweeting about watching the VMAs. Who cares if Bieber or Lady Gaga has more hashtags?

And then there was the “surprise” Lindsay Lohan cameo during Handler’s opening bit. Lohan accused Chelsea of drinking before the show because Chelsea’s ankle bracelet was beeping. At this point in Lohan’s shame-spiral, sobriety jokes aren’t funny. They make me think Lohan isn’t taking her rehab seriously. They make me afraid of the next stop on her tour of total destruction. It was awkward, uncomfortable, and unfunny. I wonder whose idea it was. Did Handler and her team come up with this, or did Lohan approach MTV or vice versa? Something in Handler’s face made me think it wasn’t 100% her idea. Something about her faint grimace during the interaction said, “Child, this isn’t funny. This is supposed to save your life.”

But Chelsea Handler tried. Through the obligatory Jersey Shore bit and a couple wardrobe changes, she tried to make it a memorable night. It’s just that the VMAs, like so much of MTV these days, has become a bloated and un-fun parody of itself.

Written by Sarah

Photos from Wenn.com