When Lindsay Lohan almost killed herself this summer and while she was fighting for her life in rehab, it turns out her mother was busy negotiating a television contract.

Mission accomplished.

Dina Lohan will executive produce a new reality tv show about her life managing the showbiz careers of her children. Because what the world really needs is even more stage mothers f*cking up child stars.

Said Dina: There are so many misconceptions about me and my family. I’m setting the record straight.

About what, exactly? About the fact that she lives off her kids? About the fact that she allowed her oldest daughter to live on her own at the Chateau Marmont when she was only 17??? About the way she enabled Lilo’s drug addiction and made excuses for every mistake? Because I think we’re pretty clear on those issues… setting the record straight is entirely unnecessary.

Then again, it’s really not about setting the record straight, is it?

“It’s about empowering women to be successful single mothers. About being in the limelight without compromising motherhood. It’s about what I do, how you can be successful, and be a single mom and fulfilling your kids’ dreams. Working is my sole source of income.”

Without compromising motherhood? Empowering women? Dina empowering women? Dina Lohan an example for single women?

The frightening thing is – there is actually a moron (probably more than one) out there who will watch. And aspire. She will look down at the 4 year old playing in her crib in the living room, with the ringlets and the bright smile, who has lived every minute of her life in front of the camcorder, and decide her child was “destined” to be an actress.

Later on, when that 4 year old turns into a whore on Sunset, she will protest that going to Hollywood was what her child wanted: this was her dream!

Of course it was her dream. Because 4 year olds know the difference between a dream and wanting a chocolate chip cookie.


And still, E! seems intent on helping to breed future trainwrecks, ensuring that there will be an heir to Britney and Lindsay thanks to the educational components of Dina’s new show.

“It won’t just be following my family around like other shows. It’ll show me cultivating careers, going to soccer practice. I’m a big supporter of domestic violence charities, so they’ll show that. Then they’ll show [”my son”] Cody at soccer practice. Ali going to school and in the studio. It’ll encompass everything. You’ll see me having five business meetings in the city.”

Five business meetings and soccer practice?

See a PIMP at work – watch Dina Lohan.