Gwyneth, Gwyneth, Gwyneth, Gwyneth, Gwyneth...

Can you feel my joy over all this Gwyneth?! So much Gwyneth! And no end soon either because just as she moves out of promotion for It’s All Good, she’s now starting promotion for Iron Man 3. This is my Gwyneth for Iron Man 3 on the cover of the new Harper’s Bazaar. And the thing about Gwyneth, if you know Gwyneth, is that she’s always good for a print interview. Few are as good for a print interview as Gwyneth, because even when it’s fluff -- and fashion and beauty magazines almost always are -- Gwyneth always gives good Gwyneth: she is reliably quotable, and quotably controversial. And we are better for it. Better and less boring/bored.

Here are some quick shots of G amazingness from the article:

-“picking avocados”: I don’t want to explain. Just read it, and do as you do, depending on where you stand where the polarising G is concerned.

- “senior school”: when I read this on the page, I reacted like I do when Mariah Carey is trying to find the right camera angle. With so much happiness. Gwyneth confirms that she has indeed moved her family from London to Los Angeles. And that her plan is to stay a couple of years until her kids are old enough for “senior school”. RIGHT???

-“I just had to not eat pasta and french fries the night before shooting—which I'm terrible at doing."G is referring here to a scene in Iron Man 3 when Pepper’s in some deep sh-t and is running for her life and, for some reason, ends up in a bra. The night before shooting that part then, Gwyneth abstained from pasta and fries. But only that night. If I had to shoot anything in my bra, I’d have to abstain from pasta and fries for a year. Minimum.

-she wants to be in Bridesmaids, or similar. I was recently sent a link to an interview with Guy Pearce (thanks Bec!) who said of Gwyneth: “Gwyneth’s a lot of fun as well. She’s a dirty bird when she wants to be”. He’s not the first to mention it. Bill Murray has also hinted at Gwyneth’s raunch. I’d love to see her sh-t herself in a movie.

-“me time”: when the mountain talks to her. Yes. Wait for it because it’s worth it.

PS. She really, really, REALLY wants another baby.

Oh but there’s so much more!

How about whether or not she’s Cameron Diaz’s personal advisor and all those rumours that she shut down Cam’s romantic aggression for a while? Interestingly, G doesn’t deny it:

As the tabloids like to tell it, she is some kind of an unofficial life coach to Cameron Diaz, reportedly advising her, inter alia, to forgo sexual liaisons in a bid to achieve domestic stability. At this last bit, Paltrow gives a hearty laugh before answering: "I think that women, especially women in my job, come to me because they know I'm very loving and nonjudgmental and I'm not competitive, and I've been through a lot. And so they come round to talk about their stuff. I'm a bit of a mother hen. Everyone wants a home-cooked meal and to come over and talk about where they are in their life," she says. "I love it, and I feel that I have the most incredible women friends, some who are super famous, some who I've had since I was four years old. I love it that people will call me up and say, 'What do you think about this?,' because my dad was very much that person for everyone in his life. So I feel like I'm carrying on my dad's spirit in that way."

God I want her to be my mother hen. I really, really do.

And of course... the health and beauty parts of the article -- these will make all the headlines. Because Gwyneth just casually, like it’s nothing, like she’s shrugging, admits to Botox:

"I've probably tried everything. I would be scared to go under the knife, but you know, talk to me when I'm 50. I'll try anything. Except I won't do Botox again, because I looked crazy. I looked like Joan Rivers!"



Was that so hard? It’s not so hard, is it? It took Nicole Kidman over half a decade to get to where Gwyneth just arrived. And Gwyneth wasn’t denying it through three lips and claiming it was just once.

Instead of Botox, it’s lasers. It sounds to me though that G’s doing hot laser, because she talks about how painful it is but she loves it because she felt like it took 5 years off her face. OK but G, let me GOOP you this time because your laser is all wrong. The Cold Gel Laser is the non-invasive laser that doesn’t hurt, at all, with no downtime, and yes, takes 5 years off your face. For months now I’ve been writing about Lorinda Zimmerman, my magic skin lady -- click here if you missed those posts. And I guarantee you Lorinda charges half of what G’s dermatologist does, or less.

And what of Gwyneth the whole grain? I find there are two kinds of ex-smokers. Some are like my friend Julie, who quit smoking and basically turned into a hate-smoking activist. Others -- and I fall into this category -- have cut off our relationship with cigarettes with ... regret. It had to be done because they’re so toxic, but the love doesn’t go away. It is sick, I know. But on this side of ex-smoking, the love never dies. Gwyneth is a member of this side. She has talked before about how she loved it. And about how part of why she loved The Royal Tenenbaums experience so much was because as Margot, it was a professional requirement to chain off one after another after another. (Margot, by the way, is one of Duana’s favourite names, if you haven’t noticed from her name nerding posts as she keeps trying to recommend it to people. I wonder how she might feel about Margot when I tell her I permanently associate it with Gwyneth’s blonde bob, dark eyeliner, and a girl in love with her brother. Obviously I’m all over the name.) She quit after shooting the movie -- the health benefits, the not wanting cancer, especially after her father died of it etc, etc, etc -- but still speaks of it wistfully and now even admits that she actually does indulge ...very sparingly. This was offered up in response to the question: what’s your guilty pleasure.

"My one light American Spirit that I smoke once a week, on Saturday night."

That’s the GP discipline. Do you believe it? Can you picture it? With a glass of wine. In the Hamptons or at the house in London with the pizza oven in the back yard. Surrounded by Kate Hudson, Phil Selway, and oh I dunno, the princess of Bulgaria. (They are friends.) THIS is my favourite Gwyneth. The one who would never invite me.

Click here Gwyneth Paltrow Interview - Gwyneth Paltrow Quotes on Family, Fitness and Career - Harper's BAZAAR to read the full interview in Harper’s Bazaar.

Also attached -- Gwyneth in white jeans walking around New York.