At Madonna’s house after the Oscars.

I love this story. And it comes from Jennifer Lawrence herself. She told it to Seth Meyers in a pre-taped interview that will air on May 21. According to US Weekly, Lawrence confirmed that she was so drunk upon arriving at Madonna’s after-party that she threw up on the stairs and then Miley Cyrus walked by with some advice:

“Get it together, girl.”

Like the seasoned veteran she is.

I can even hear Miley’s voice as she’s saying that. Low and sassy but without malice. Almost like an invitation. You need to roll more often with me. Lightweight.

Can you imagine puking all over Madonna’s house? My greatest fear, since I have infrequent and unpredictable bowel movements (although lately there’s been improvement in this area), is that my asshole of a body will decide it needs to dump at someone else’s house and clog their toilet. What’s worse? Vom all over Madonna’s marble floors or flooding her bathroom with sh-t?