First of all, there was only one photographer allowed in to shoot this collection. Which means they’re exclusive, these pictures. Which means I had to pay a lot extra for them. So I’m zooming in as much as I can to give you as many close ups and angles as possible because I could only afford so many. It should give you an idea of what the clothes look like though. Which is, to quote Elle Woods, not totally unfortunate but far from anything inspiring or original or even luxurious.

Like, the spaghetti straps on that white and black cocktail are embarrassing. Really really cheap looking. The black straps on the baby blue dress too. In fact, the entire baby blue dress is high street lower. $120 MAX and if that. And it’ll probably end up going for 3 times that, at least, retail. I don’t know what to say about the olive skirt with the buttons down the front other than I could have designed it but I didn’t and I’m not a designer. And I have no idea why there’s a long black blazer over a long black skirt, not unlike what happens if you’re cold and a man gives you his suit jacket, only that’s for practicality and not for STYLE.

But, again, as I mentioned earlier, in keeping it so exclusive and driving all the curiosity, making editors and fashion people desperate for a look, I can’t imagine they won’t be holding their dicks in their hands, pretending to get hard for what can best be described as generic and worst as totally amateur.