Well, it’s been nice working here at LaineyGossip and existing under my own face and name on the internet, but I assume those days are over. Because when I read the headline that there might be more Gilmore episodes on Netflix, I thought... nah, I’m good.

Which I understand is akin to treason. But let me explain why, before you send sacks of excrement to my house.

1. The story is told.

Everyone knows the legend of Gilmore Girls like a bedtime story. Amy Sherman-Palladino knew what the last four words would be (emphasis on ‘last’), but then she never got to use them, because she didn’t get to finish the last season of the show. So the Netflix revival was an opportunity to finish the show, to tell the end of the story.  Which they did. Whether you loved it (I did) or not. The fact that the show ends ambiguously? Dudes, that’s a style choice. So did Roseanne. So did The Sopranos (so I hear, don’t spoil me, I’m enjoying watching for the first time). Ambiguity is good sometimes. Besides:

2. You won’t get what you want.

Look, if they’re making this show, they’re going to make it with Lauren and Alexis and the Palladinos, which is to say, it’s going to be the same show. Which is to say it’s going to be uneven, prickly, and definitely still not a happy ending, because what would be the point? 

Plus—I have to say I think it will be diminishing returns. The reason why is (and before you get mad at me, I’m just quoting Hollywood legend William Goldman here, okay?)…

3. Sequels are whore’s movies (or TV shows)

You write a movie, logic (and William Goldman) says, because there’s a story to be told, something that burns in your blood, exciting and wonderful.  Something that has a beginning, middle, and end.

You write a sequel, on the other hand, because the first one unexpectedly made a lot of money, and the powers that be see the opportunity to make more. Look, ASP wrote the first revival/features/Year In The Life using the last four words. Fully expecting it to be the end.

But then there’s the quote from Netflix boss Ted Sarandos:

“The worst thing is to wait a couple of years for your favourite show to come back and for it to disappoint you but [The Sherman-Palladinos] sure delivered and people were really excited about more and we have been talking to them about the possibility of that.”

“People were really excited” = “We got lots of eyeballs. This did very well for Netflix.”

“People were really excited” =/= “There’s a lot of really complex interesting stories to be told about Lorelai as a 49-year-old grandmother, and definitely a lot of new places to take Rory, and that’s why we’re interested.”

I’m not saying that can’t happen, I’m saying it’s not where the origin of the idea begins. And I trust the Sherman-Palladinos not to sign on unless they really need the story to be told, but I want to believe they left it all on the floor last year.

Here’s all I can ask. If there is more, don’t tell me. Commit to doing zero press, except maybe a campaign to tell us when it’s coming. Don’t feel pressure to come up with tweetable images and sneak peeks and endless ‘what will it be like?’ teaser promos, because it’s diminishing returns. 

Amy Sherman-Palladino and Daniel Palladino have a new Amazon pilot, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. I suspect that if it’s successful it will take up some of their attention for some time… which means wanting one of their projects to succeed means wanting another to… not. Or at least be postponed.

Anyway, it’s been nice knowing you. Throw whatever you need to throw. I understand. Or, as an alternative, you could always try watching Bunheads. Have you watched Bunheads?