Valentine’s Day can be an oppressive (fake) holiday. What if there is no romance in your life? For two weeks everyone’s vomiting hearts. And on the day of, people all around you are getting ready to release seminal fluids into each other while you try half-heartedly to be excited about going home and digging into those short ribs you have in the slow cooker.

Maybe it’s because I’ve been married for so long, but I’m actually more excited about the short ribs than Valentine’s Day. My best friend Fiona, who has held my hand through my attempts at cooking, suggested a short rib slow cooker recipe to me recently which has changed my life. I am now in love with my slow cooker. I got it as a gift 3 years ago from my mother-in-law and hadn’t used it until these ribs. If I can make these ribs, you can make these ribs. I wasn’t even confused about the ingredient list, and I am always confused about ingredient lists. People who write recipes (Gwyneth Paltrow) need to understand that some people didn’t grow up knowing the difference between onions and shallots. Anyway, if you’re interested, click here for the short ribs. I don’t think I’ll ever order short ribs at a restaurant again, these are actually that good. And maybe you’ll be too in love with your food to care about being single.

Speaking of being single…

Tom Hiddleston is single. When Sarah posted about him yesterday at the BAFTAs, she mentioned that she has a friend who predicted that “we’re on the cusp of Tom Hiddleston’s “Sad Keanu” moment. Like give it a few months and Hiddles will be sad-eating sad sandwiches all by his sad self”.

A few months?

Try a few hours. Like two.

Two hours after that article went up, here’s what Tom tweeted:

Sad Tom is here!

Now Sarah has to go back to her friend and admit s/he was right.

But seriously, he’s basically playing Bridget Jones now. And Twitter is his diary.

February 13, 2017
180 lbs

Alcohol units:
Vesper martini, shaken not stirred

By the fire, while reading Marlowe

Come on, now. Who IS this guy? What is this f-cking tweet? What’s next? A karaoke video montage???