Filming for Mission: Impossible 6 – Pew Pew Noises is underway in Paris, shooting around the Grand Palais, which, as every publication feels the need to emphasize, is just a “four minute drive” from the Champs-Élysées, where there was an alleged terrorist attack last Thursday. Is it just me, or is it slightly gross to imply that in continuing filming, Cruise is demonstrating some kind of exceptional bravery? Because that’s the tone of these articles, that when it comes to a possible terror attack, what everyone is really concerned about is whether or not Tom Cruise was able to keep working.

He’s joined on set by Henry Cavill, who is sporting a mustache that says, “I am a thirty-something year old man who dates college students.” Cavill might be as boring as an unfluffed pillow, but he is beautiful, although this mustache is doing the most to ruin it. I bet Tom Cruise mandated it. “No one can be more handsome than me,” he shrieks, staring at Cavill’s headshot. “Make him grow an awful 1970s mustache!” As Jeremy Renner is officially out because he’s busy Avengering, I guess this makes Cavill the new Renner. How long do you think Cavill will last? The only people who have stuck with this franchise, besides Cruise, are Ving Rhames, the sidekick, and Simon Pegg, the consummate comic relief. Anyone who could possibly be seen as a rival for Cruise’s action prowess doesn’t seem to last too long. I give Cavill two films, tops.

Also returning, though not pictured here, is Rebecca Ferguson as Ilsa Faust. Director Christopher McQuarrie provided the first look at Ilsa on Instagram:


Ilsa's back...

A post shared by Christopher McQuarrie (@christophermcquarrie) on

This is the real and only reason to care about M:I6.

PS: Stunt master Tom Cruise side-swiped into a tree.