On the subject of celebrity news and consumption, there’s a knowledge gap between those of us who live on the internet and those who just get their updates from magazines and, maybe, half an hour of entertainment television a day. My favourite example to cite that proves this point is John Travolta. No explanation required.

So here’s the cover of the new issue of US Weekly. Swoki Love being sold to the masses! The details? He’s close to proposing, she will definitely say yes, whatever, whatever….

My question is:

You know how for almost a month we’ve been talking about whether or not this is legit and why and what the big reveal is? How strong are we, like in size? Out of every 10 random people polled, how many of us are there? Do we outnumber the people who read this and take it at face value, without the side chat, without the speculation?

The fact that this is being blasted on the cover of a major publication, to us internet c-nts, is hilarious. Because it’s an editorial decision based on what they think is going to sell, based on who they think will buy. And they clearly believe that people will buy: that Swoki wedding bells are coming soon! That Swoki fanbase – or, more accurately, that Taylor Swift fanbase – is living for this fairy tale relationship.

Is a fairy tale forever though?

Here’s what I’ve been thinking about this afternoon since Aiken Waddell lost his sh-t on Twitter. Is leaking to TMZ and anger-tweeting the best revenge he has? He dated her for 15 months! There’s nothing else on his goddamn phone, no photo, no video, no voice recording of her trash talking? The best he can do is a lame cut about her feud with Katy Perry? Or…was that just a preview?

Speaking of Katy Perry, she’s joined in the fun. Because isn’t this so f-cking fun?!? This is gossip at its best.