Multiple outlets reported yesterday that Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson are engaged. It was only exactly a month ago that Ariana was seen leaving the Saturday Night Live after-party. Three days before that it was reported that she and Mac Miller had broken up. They just made it Instagram official twelve days ago on May 30th! Vulture has a good timeline of their relationship if you want to go over the key dates. Of which there aren’t that many. BECAUSE IT’S BEEN FOUR WEEKS.

That said, it’s true. Or at least they’re OK with us thinking that it’s true. Ariana’s been replying to her fans on social and the replies are not denials. She’s not known for this kind of f-ckery with her fans either. And the way these two have been carrying on during the MONTH that they’ve been together, especially on Instagram, exchanging cute messages and posts back and forth, it really does seem like it’s a total love takeover, the kind of love where you lose your whole goddamn mind. 

Is it bonkers though? To be engaged so quickly? Well, it happens in real life too. It’s just that in real life no one has the money to follow through on insta-love-to-engagement. And in real life we have families, relatives, friends, who can actually say “what the f-ck?” to us instead of only being programmed to respond in the affirmative. 

Remember though, celebrities break off engagements all the time. I wonder if the rate of broken engagements is actually higher among celebrities than civilians. But also…remember though… celebrity romantic intensity can be higher than civilians. These two are intense AF. Can you see Ariana pulling a Britney? I can. And I can also see…down the road… you know. 

Fast flames flame out fast. Fast flames aren’t meant to last. (Has anyone ever said this before because if not I’m putting it on a t-shirt. A quick google search tells me no. So let me try this again.)

Fast flames flame out fast.™ Fast flames aren’t meant to last.™

Like…they’ve probably only had one fight. And you know what that first fight is like when you’re in the storm of first love. When you make up after that first fight, you feel like your love is invincible. “We can get through anything, we are so amazing”. Like all great drugs, love makes you believe in a lot of bullsh-t. Ariana and Pete are love-drunk.