Dear Gossips,

All year, Lainey has been exhorting us to enjoy Bennifer 2.0, to be glad of Bennifer 2.0, to recognize Bennifer 2.0 as the great gift from the gossip gods that it—they—are. But let us also recognize that the gossip gods have given a gift to Bennifer 2.0, and that is that the ghost of Benana, the relationship between Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas that ended in January of this year, has been swept off the upcoming calendar. There will be no Benana wrapped in ghostly chains to rake and moan and remind Bennifer 2.0 of Affleck’s previous tabloid-fodder romance, instead, Bennifer 2.0 can enjoy the holidays as Mimi intended—loved up and color-coordinated. 

 

Affleck and de Armas have an erotic thriller, Deep Water, that was scheduled to come out in January, but Disney pulled it from the release calendar yesterday. This means Affleck does not have to depart from JLo’s side to do press with his ex about their sexy movie over the next several weeks. Deep Water is based on a Patricia Highsmith novel about a married couple who find themselves embroiled in multiple murders when their respective lovers start turning up dead. Affleck and de Armas play the married couple. Most notably, though, Deep Water is the first film from Adrian Lyne since 2002’s Unfaithful. He is also the director of Foxes, Flashdance, 9 ½ Weeks, Fatal Attraction, and Indecent Proposal. No Hollywood filmmaker does erotic thrillers better than Adrian Lyne, and THIS is how we treat him? 

Sure, Bennifer 2.0 can remain in their “love bubble”, undisturbed by the ghost of Benanas past. But how DISREPCTFUL to Adrian Lyne! The man hasn’t made a film in damn near twenty years, and when he does bestir himself to give us a new erotic thriller, we just let it be REMOVED from the SCHEDULE? This is why we can’t have nice things, and by “nice things” I mean “adult-oriented dramas with sex scenes”. There is no word on why Deep Water was pulled off the schedule or when it will be rescheduled. Adrian Lyne made a new erotic thriller based on a Patricia Highsmith novel, and it is just gone, poof, as if it never existed. The gossip gods may want to prolong the seasonal joy of Bennifer 2.0, but how cruel to do it at the expense of Adrian Lyne. Truly, the gods giveth, and the gods taketh away. 

Live long and gossip,

Sarah