Michael Bay at the Gifting Suite

Jennifer Klein’s Annual Day of Indulgence is a Hollywood tradition. It’s supposed to be an afternoon of relaxation for all kinds of celebrities (and the exclusivity factor over the years has definitely been diluted) but is mostly known for its reputation of Jennifer turning her house into a gifting suite – everybody leaves with thousands of dollars of free sh-t.

Agency photos of Michael Bay outside Jennifer’s place (she’s produced several of his movies) were the first pictures I saw today when I started work. And my first thought at the time, I swear, is that if Brad Pitt could let go of his carefully, painstakingly curated “I’m too cool” image, he could live life freely like Michael Bay. And only after that did I see Esquire’s new Brad Pitt cover story, in which we are told repeatedly that Brad Pitt is indeed the coolest motherf-cker in Hollywood and authentically greets guests by preparing charcuterie himself, no assistant necessary, but doesn’t know where the napkins are in his kitchen.

Michael Bay and Brad Pitt are about the same age and also ageless – or trying to be at least. Michael Bay also has an image that he’s cultivated over the last 30 years through his movies: loud, cars, boobs, and everything go boom. He’s basically the human embodiment of a Creed song, unapologetically corny AF. Unlike Brad Pitt who is actually corny AF and it leaks out of him sometimes…

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… but keeps it contained under a veneer of “good taste” and independent spirit. Like the movie star opposite of another movie star, Tom Cruise. Only more and more, in their 60s, their similarities are undeniable. Not just with how their children feel about them but even the way they talk. There’s a quote in that Brad Pitt Esquire piece that, if you didn’t know, you might have attributed it to Tom:

“I’m all in. Whatever I’m doing, I’m all in.”

Michael Bay could have said that too before running his hands through that hair, flipping down his sunglasses, and speeding off in some kind of obnoxious car. 

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What else happened today…

“…everyone believes you ran cock-first as hard as you could straight into a brick wall” is what John Oliver said to describe Todd Blanche and DC movies, but it could have applied to Michael Bay too. (Pajiba)

Juno Temple has been wearing a lot of pink lately and borrowing from Paris Hilton’s closet. This dress was a uniform in the mid-2000s. (Go Fug Yourself)

Copenhagen fashion girls love the big toe. This is not a euphemism, the big toe is really a main character in footwear over there. (Refinery 29)

The asshole in the White House keeps trying to antagonise Taylor Swift which only proves that she does not f-ck with him. This is behaviour consistent with a man who was found in court to have sexually abused and defamed his accuser and who also allegedly sexually assaulted dozens of women over the years. (The Mary Sue)

I’m not gay but I love a quiz that tells me which gay sport I am: soccer, apparently. (Autostraddle)