Hollywood is high school. That’s why everyone wants Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston to get back together – don’t we want to see the Prom King and Queen together forever and ever, happily ever after? 

Brad was finally crowned last night at the Oscars and while we were all wondering about his assumed speechwriter and what jokes he would drop at the conclusion of his non campaigning award season, instead the speech that he prepared (or that was prepared for him) was emotional and political. He dedicated his Oscar to his children, reminisced about his “once upon a time”, but opened with a comment about the Trump impeachment trial. 


A few weeks ago, after Brad’s SAGs speech joke about how much he sucks at marriage, I wrote that “a beautiful man can say anything” and he might be the best example of it. I wonder if the limit to that rule is politics, if the MiniVan Majority Brad Pitt fan draws the line at politics. Or if even the most hardcore Trump stan would make an exception for him? 

For weeks now we’ve been wondering who Brad would take to the Oscars. Would it be one of his kids? Would it be his mother? Would it be Jennifer Aniston? None of the above. His Oscar date was his manager Cynthia Pett-Dante. So, purely business, leaving no room for gossip. He did hit up the Vanity Fair Oscar party though, as is tradition. And, as expected, he was the most popular person in the room, as everyone rushed to greet him – from Kim and Kanye West to Spike Lee to Tiffany Haddish, everyone wanted to talk to him and, according to Page Six, he got overwhelmed by the attention and left as soon as he could, explaining that “I’m not really a party guy”. I would imagine this is about self-preservation. Everything is to excess on Oscar night. 


As for Jennifer Aniston, she hit up the Netflix Oscar party last night – so they were both out at the same time, although Brad wasn’t seen there. I suppose if you wanted to stretch, you could rumour that they ended up at home together at the end of the night but… again… all of it has been a stretch. And now award season is over and, in theory, Brad will go undercover again. Until there’s a new opportunity to drag Angelina Jolie. 

You will note – throughout the course of this love triangle, there’s always been a tit for tat pattern to how the three of them have operated. And yet, during Brad’s Oscar run, Angelina has mostly kept a very, very low profile. She has pretty much stayed entirely out of the way, not interested in engaging in the narrative. Interesting that that doesn’t seem to be acknowledged much.