Just Andrew

TW for sexual assault

It’s been big news the last few days as the loser formerly known as Prince Andrew, the Duke of York, and I don’t give a goddamn if that wasn’t the correct styling, is now just Andrew. He’s not been stripped of his titles but he’s voluntarily decided not to use them anymore – which we’re being told is a significant concession. But, like, by what definition? 

He has been accused of participating in the sex trafficking of underage girls with a convicted sex offender who might be the most notorious pedophile in modern history. And the latest consequence of that for him is that he will no longer be calling himself a duke anymore. Seriously? This is the solution that they’ve come up with? 

Just Andrew is still living on a huge estate. He will continue to ride his horses and not have a job. Apparently he enjoys watching golf on television and long walks on the grounds. He also spends a lot of time reading. Um, girl, that sounds like a perfect day. And that’s how he’s been spending his days since 2019, none of that will change. Just Andrew’s “punishment” is our fantasy early retirement. 

But, Lainey, for them this is harsh. By their standards, this is rebuke. 

Sure. But that also means that the bigger picture here is that THEIR standards are absurd. If the worst thing that could happen to him (so far) after being embroiled, FOR DECADES NOW, with people who transacted the rape and abuse of at least dozens of women and girls, is not being able to attend a fancy lunch at one of the many palaces he’s used to frequenting, and skipping the walk to church on Christmas Day, doesn’t that call into question the whole operation and how it governs itself? 

Much of this is happening, of course, because the late Virginia Giuffre’s memoir drops tomorrow and in the book, she is lighting him on fire from the grave – as is her eternal right. The British royal family is guarding itself against more damage, and even now, three days after Just Andrew’s announcement, there’s a report circulating that he was trying to leverage the power of his police protection to dig up dirt on her, the implication being that he at one point was attempting a smear campaign. This on top of other recent bombshells, including an email that he wrote to Jeffrey Epstein promising solidarity. 

Here's the thing though – none of it is new, Virginia and other victims have been talking about Epstein’s crimes and Just Andrew’s involvement for YEARS. They’ve had to exhaustingly detail their experiences, relive their trauma, over and over and over and over again. Only to have the needle move ever so slowly, if at all, for 20 years. 

Imagine how devastatingly frustrating that must be, to have been violated like that, and then find the courage to talk about it, only to see that the worst that would happen is that one of her abusers stopped going to parties. And that most of the British media didn’t seem to think that was as big of a problem as another prince and his wife moving out of the country and selling jam, FFS. 

Even now they’re trying to find another narrative. And the one that’s emerging seems to be that it was Prince William who was, behind the scenes, instrumental in forcing Just Andrew even further out of the circle. Because, ultimately, the British royal family’s first priority is to ensure the viability of the British royal family. This isn’t about understanding what’s right or wrong, it’s about not wanting Just Andrew’s wrongs to jeopardise their right to be royal. So what they’re selling right now is that William, the future king, was the hero who insisted on this move, the upright prince swooping in to deal with the toxic one. I guess we’re supposed to conveniently forget that William has spent wayyyyy more energy on undermining his own brother than taking a stand against his uncle. 

We're Squawking Just Andrew today. Meet us there to unleash your disgust. (App link here)