Turns out all the speculation about Cara Delevingne and Ashley Benson (including mine) was off-base; Cara wished Ashley a Happy Birthday and got her a very special, exclusive, priceless present – not one Olsen, but two! The twin set! A personalized video courtesy of Mary-Kate and Ashley who have not even met Ashley. This is the closest we have gotten to them in years and it’s all because Cara delivered. This is a gift for all of us.
The trailer for John Mulaney & The Sack Lunch Bunch dropped and it looks weird, but it’s supposed to be weird, I think? Or it’s nostalgic and satirical and earnest and grown-up but for kids, and magical but also self-aware? I’m not sure what tone they were going for, but that’s part of the concept – John Mulaney can’t quite explain what he wants this to be, either.
Jake Gyllenhaal does a guest spot, and I wonder if kids know who he is because of Spider-Man. How else would an 8-year-old know Jake Gyllenhaal? Jake joined Instagram around this time last year and is now a bit sillier, a bit lighter. It’s been a good look for him.
John Legend sprung a dinner party on Chrissy Teigen and her stressing out over cake is entirely relatable, this is absolutely something I would stress out over because I can’t bake. And then John shows up with his one measly cake after she’s taken care of it and well, I won’t spoil the last video for you.
I didn’t know tonight was the voice finale. John invited everyone to dinner at the house after and I’m really fucking mad because I didn’t make a fucking FINALE meal. I would have gotten a cake or something too?? Who the fuck does this? U don’t win the voice then eat short ribs— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) December 18, 2019
It sounds dumb yes but this is VERY john. I am always in charge of doing the fun, extra shit and he has no idea how much I plan normally and he’s like “no it’s fine they just wanna have dinner” but it’s literally the finale of their show??? And I have no ice cream truck— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) December 18, 2019
Lol I’m serious I’m laughing but I’m fucking pissed pic.twitter.com/dGCJWgK4c5— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) December 18, 2019
omfg I ordered like 5 milk bar cakes before john’s one cake got here from the SAME place and he thinks he is some fucking hero pic.twitter.com/qBywpGo3Mb— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) December 18, 2019
So many people in the comments are congratulating Scott Eastwood for taking a stand against “fake news” and promising to see the movie, but the receipts tell a different story. To quote Yo Gotti, “women lie, men lie, numbers don’t lie.” And these numbers are showing a flop. No fake news here.
Thinking of the year in social media, Jennifer Aniston is a clear winner. She’s been racking up a lot of wins lately. This morning Lainey wrote about the psychology of people wanting Brad and Jen to get back together. I agree wholeheartedly with her assessment: if Jen was your real-life friend, would you want her to go back to that? How could she ever let go of the 12-year triangle (that they ALL participated in)? But that’s logic, and we aren’t always logical when it comes to celebrities.
That is why there are accounts dedicated to Winona Ryder and Johnny Depp. The pull of nostalgia is more forceful than emotional intelligence and maturity. (Also, I’ve decided that the only way I would accept a reconciliation is if they made it Instagram official. He has to prove – to us, of course – that he is willing to make some sacrifices for our girl.)
Should probably say something about Matthew and Chris, but I’m distracted by Camila’s suit. She usually wears very traditional gowns but this is so good on her.
This week has been dominated by party coverage – Diddy’s 50th, Taylor’s 30th and Jennifer Aniston’s tree trimming party. If you had an invite to each event, which is your first choice? You can only go to one, no party hopping. My first choice would be Diddy (second runner up is Jennifer’s, third place is Taylor).