Chris Martin’s birthday was on Saturday. There was a party and a lot of celebrities were at the party, including his ex-wife, Gwyneth Paltrow, who also wished him Happy Birthday on Instagram. Right after wishing her husband, Brad Falchuk, Happy Birthday the day before – his bday is on March 1, same as Justin Bieber: 


A post shared by Gwyneth Paltrow (@gwynethpaltrow) on



A post shared by Gwyneth Paltrow (@gwynethpaltrow) on

Pretty sure this happened last year too. Very civilised. More evidence of how civilised – read superior – it all is where G and her ex relations are concerned: Melanie Griffith was also seen at the party. Just to make it extra, extra clear, Melanie’s daughter is Dakota Johnson who is currently dating Chris. No photos of Dakota but, obviously, if her ma was there, she was likely there, inside as the host of the event, perhaps, so this answers two questions: yes, Dakota and Chris are together, and yes, again, she and G get on great, which we already knew because they were all on holiday a couple of months ago. 

You know who else was there? For those of you wondering whether or not Gwyneth and Julia Roberts are still friends, Julia Roberts showed up, photographed arm in arm with Sean Penn. Julia and Sean have known each other a long time. Do you remember a few years ago, he gave a speech at some awards show talking about how much he loves her, so much that he would watch an entire movie of her eating? Here’s what he said:

“[She] is one of the select group of actresses who can make on-screen eating sexy . . . I could watch her eat . . . for hours on end, even if the food got stuck in her teeth. I want her to make an eating movie in 3-D, but the interactive supplies not only the 3-D glasses, but also a virtual toothpick with which I could collect souvenirs correcting my insomnia with the comfort of those virtual morsels kept carefully beneath my pillow.”

I really wish someone would tell him he’s not Nora Ephron. I feel like Julia could be that person to tell him he’s not Nora Ephron but he probably doesn’t show her in advance the sh-t he writes before he says or publishes it. The last time we were all graced with Sean Penn’s mastery of words, it was during the Oscar voting process when he wrote an essay about how unfairly A Star is Born was being treated by the Academy. Do you think Sean tried to get Julia to vote for A Star is Born? It’s an interesting question, I think, because just last weekend, Julia presented Best Picture at the Oscars. She was the one who had to open the envelope and announce Green Book. Julia and Bradley Cooper are close too so it’s possible, in theory. Then again, Julia Roberts doesn’t have to promise votes to anybody. And, as Ira Madison hilariously pointed out on last week’s episode of his Keep It podcast, which made me laugh out loud on the sidewalk this weekend when I was walking my dogs – here’s the direct quote (if you want to listen, start at the 25 minute 20 second mark):  

“Cuz listen, Julia Roberts was up there and I was like, Julia Roberts loves n---as, alright? She was waiting for Spike Lee to come up, she was waiting for someone from Black Panther to come up, she’s like, if I can’t get up on Denzel tonight, I’ll get up on his son, she was like, we can do Pelican Brief 2!”. 

The whole bit was really, really funny and of course was meant to remind us of when Julia jumped on Denzel Washington after presenting Best Actor to him for his performance in Training Day: 


LOLOLOLOLOL. I will never get enough of that – it gets better every time you watch it. “I love my life.” And look how much time she takes up at the beginning as she’s hugging him when he gets up on stage. He can’t start his speech because she will not get off him! Then, of course, he practically had to carry her off. 

So, to go back to what Ira was saying, considering that memory, and her face at the Oscars last week, imagine the moment we would have gotten if it was BlackkKlansman and Spike? As if she would have had any f-cks to give for Sean Penn and Bradley Cooper!