We often talk about how Robert Pattinson gives unhinged interviews and he’s always good on a press tour for at least once insane interview where he’s probably lying because he’s bored but the answer is so chaotic the internet is in shambles as a result. 

 

But, like, Dakota Johnson is underrated in this department too. Remember, she’s the one who told Ellen DeGeneres about herself long before Ellen was publicly called out. And that whole thing with the limes, when AD did that tour of her home and she was all about limes and then revealed, randomly, later on that she’s allegedly allergic to them, LOL, simultaneously calling herself out and whoever it was who set decorated her kitchen. 

 

Now she’s at it again while promoting Materialists, and this time she’s pulling Taylor Swift into the chat which just adds a whole other layer of crazy to the proceedings. This is Dakota on Amy Poehler’s podcast talking about a dream she had. Normally I have no time for other people’s dreams – my friend Sasha pointed this out years ago: that “I had this dream last night…” is, for her, one of the most boring conversations you can ever have, and she vocalised what I had been feeling my whole life so I’ve basically stolen her pet peeve. I too don’t give a sh-t about your dreams, never mind my own dreams, I don’t put that much energy into them either so why would I need to listen to yours. 

 

Dakota’s dream, however, is gossipy. Because of the timing. 

 

You’ll recall, Dakota went out for dinner with Taylor a couple of weeks ago, pretty much right after Taylor announced that she’d bought back her masters. Taylor’s squad dinner hiatus, at that point, had lasted almost six months, it’d been a long ass minute since she performed a friendship dinner with another celebrity. But she chose Dakota for her comeback – and now … Dakota’s dreaming about Matty Healy and talking about it in interviews, coincidence or conspiracy???

Swifties are all like, WTF did Taylor tell Dakota during that dinner for her to be associating Matty with murder and asparagus in a dream? Taylor went in on Matty on the Tortured Poets album but if Dakota’s having dreams this wild, what could Taylor possibly be holding back and why is Angelina Jolie taking strays? F-ck Justin Baldoni, this is the kind of Taylor Swift gossip we should be focusing on. 

Here's Dakota the other night at the Materialists premiere after party in New York.