Intro for March 3, 2026

Dear Gossips,

Today in This Is Going To Ruin The Tour news, Justin Timberlake is suing Sag Harbor, New York to prevent the release of the bodycam footage from his June 2024 DWI arrest. If you’ll recall, this was when JT was pulled over in the Hamptons by a cop so young he didn’t recognize Timberlake. Drunk driving is NOT funny, but Justin Timberlake saying “This is going to ruin the tour” to a police officer so wet behind the ears he has no idea what the hell that man is talking about IS funny.

The report comes from Page Six who went full-TMZ and got the court filing in which Timberlake’s lawyer argues that “disclosure of this footage would constitute an unwarranted invasion” of JT’s privacy. I don’t even really disagree with that. Justin Timberlake is famous, but he is also a private citizen. But his lawyer also argues that releasing the bodycam footage—which is the subject of a FOIA request from members of the media—serves “no legitimate public interest in understanding the operations of government”.

Well, no, not the government, but maybe it would contribute to legitimate public interest in understanding how WEALTH operates within this context. Because JT eventually plead guilty to a lesser charge (driving while ability impaired), and got off with a fine of less than $1,000 and 25 hours of community service, all after never submitting to a breathalyzer. I know people who have been charged with DWI after barely eclipsing the legal limit and lost their licenses for years. There seems to be a disparity in outcomes here, and THAT is of public interest.

And yeah, JT’s reputation will take a hit if that footage comes out, but he’ll recover, eventually. Reese Witherspoon bounced back from an arrest during which she yelled “do you know who I am” at a cop so well people practically don’t remember it even happened. He’ll go on an apology tour, talk about being a dad, release some sh-tty music no one listens to, and eventually, it will sublimate into the background of his life, just one more bullet point on the Wikipedia page.

But now we do have to imagine how bad the footage is if JT is so convinced it will destroy his reputation. Because he claimed he only had “one martini” but he’s fighting the release of this bodycam footage like we might find out he obviously had more than that. Drunk driving is a true monoculture issue, everyone hates it. And it’s been a couple years, and JT has mostly kept his head down, and people were probably starting to forget the Hamptons incident, beyond the meme of “this is going to ruin the tour”.

Putting that footage out, though, will not only remind everyone that JT drove while impaired, but maybe we’ll see something worse. And then the fires will be stoked again, because everyone despises a drunk driver. And I keep coming back to the fact that JT’s blood alcohol content was never recorded, so there’s no real way to know if his lesser charge was actually reasonable, or if he simply had the money and power to more or less make the situation go away.

And now he’s trying to keep the video evidence out of the public eye, which just makes me think he was way, way drunker than previously believed. Like at this point, it might be better to just release the footage because I am a very cynical person with little faith in America’s two-faced justice system, and I am just going to assume JT was out of his mind that night and he got off, essentially, consequence-free. Release the tapes and prove me wrong, Justin.

Live long and gossip,

Sarah