Jessica Biel will attend the Golden Globe Awards on Sunday for the first time as a nominee in a category that includes four Oscar winners. As mentioned the other day, her husband couldn’t wait until the weekend was over to let her have her own full shine. He had to announce his album this week and drop the first single in time for the weekend, presumably in the hopes that that’s all we’ll be talking about when he shows up with her on the red carpet. If it always goes down like that, like every single time, how can it ever be just a coincidence and not a conspiracy?
So the track is called Filthy. And… I don’t hate it. Do you remember when SexyBack first came out? How it took a minute for the song to take hold? Because, at the time, it didn’t sound like anything else on the radio? That, I think, is what Justin Timberlake and Timbaland are trying to do here. SexyBack was released almost 12 years ago though. And if the saying is true, that you’re only as good as your last, JT’s last was the worst song of 2016, Can’t Stop The Feeling. So if we’re comparing Filthy to that Bullsh-t? Filthy has some potential. Once it settles into your life, the way JT is hoping it will, it probably has a lot of potential. Already it’s more tolerable than Can’t Stop The Feeling. And I would keep talking about that, and only that, if not for this video.
Because this f-cking video…
JT is Steve Jobs now. Or in the future. In 10 years, when he’s presenting at the Pan-Asian Deep Learning Conference in Kuala Lumpur. He’s become a dancing robot, entertaining all the Asians, who sit in their seats, or manage all the tech boards in the wings, while JT and his machine surrogate bask in the spotlight. I mean, that’s my takeaway. As an Asian, that’s what I’ve just watched, twice: a white man being glorified by prop Asians in the audience and someone’s calling it “diversity” because so many Asians were cast in the video. And it wouldn’t surprise me if, in a hilariously twisted way, this is what they’re telling themselves. “You know what we should do because we’re all about representation? JT should be featured at a Pan-Asian event, with only Asians sitting in the shadows! People will admire and compliment us for Being The Change!”
Right. Even though “Asia is leading the way in robotics revolution”, with Japan already moving towards a robotics future, and China investing heavily in robotics innovation, Justin Timberlake is pitching us 10 years into the future, showing us a scenario in which all the Asians who’ve been doing the work take a seat so that he can take over the stage and show them how it’s done.
Man Of The Woods, Make America Great Again. I see you.