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Lindsay Lohan has reportedly signed on to a new movie in which she plays a tango-dancing prostitute in a biopic about tango legend Carlos Gardel. She is apparently now taking dance classes even with that alcohol monitor strapped around her ankle that is supposed to detect booze … and nothing else.

The movie is scheduled to shoot in the fall in Romania. Romania! Thousands of miles away from Malibu and Vegas and Les Deux and Teddys. But this is Lilo – Lilo at the weekend without a moment’s peace. Shopping at midnight, partying til the break of dawn, then drying out on the beach in the presence of the paparazzi. You think this little twat can manage on location without jonesing to get back to her bumps?

Please.

Bet your boob job it’s been a bitch trying to get insurance on that picture. Bet your boob job she’ll be taking a drastic pay cut to reassure financial backers that “I just want to act. I’m actor. I just want to act.”

Bull f&cking sh-t.

PS. On the upside, she does look amazing in that red bikini. And really...that"s all that matters, non?

PPS. Thinnification alert - is your smutty sense tingling?

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