Dear Gossips,

Quincy Jones is turning 85 years old next month. He was born under the sign of the Rooster. I posted the Rooster advisory for the Year of the Dog a few days ago. But, for Quincy, if you believe Chinese astrology and feng shui, it kinda doesn’t matter. Ma says that once you’re 70, luck only holds you to one rule: be good to people, practise kindness, and the rest will take care of itself. So… basically… Quincy Jones has no f-cks to give, OBVIOUSLY. 

I wrote about Quincy’s interview with GQ last week and his new interview with Vulture was one of the biggest stories in pop culture yesterday which I linked to in What Else because it’s essential homework. Because it’s one of the best celebrity interviews you will ever read, period. Mostly because of Quincy and his batsh-t but totally legitimate comments on everything from the JFK assassination, Michael Jackson’s artist theft (!!!), and Marlon Brando’s sex life. But this could only happen because the journalist, David Marchese, did his homework and then showed his work. He prepared. He came ready. And, since he knew his sh-t, he was able to press Quincy with follow-up questions, or just “um…can you elaborate, are you sure?” reactions that ended up eliciting even more Quincy amazingness on top of the regular amazingness that Quincy keeps serving. 

And… I believe every word. Quincy casually drops that Marlon Brando pretty much f-cked everyone, including Richard Pryor. And then, three hours later, Richard Pryor’s widow is like… Yup, that’s true. And read it! That anecdote came out of nowhere! He was talking about music technique! He was talking about the cha-cha! Two sentences later, Marlon Brando is having sex with James Baldwin, Marvin Gaye, and Richard Pryor! No hesitation. No f-cks to give. Over 70.

If, however, you are not over 70, and you can’t afford to go off on everyone and everything like Quincy, and you were born under the sign of the Dragon, and you’d like some idea of what your luck profile might look like during the Year of the Dog, here’s what the Squawking Chicken has to say:

Dragons, like Tigers, are the two most spectacular but volatile signs in the Chinese zodiac. Think of the animals – they are glorious, majestic, feared and not just in Chinese culture but across all cultures. The dragon, in particular, is a mythical creature. It’s universally recognised as a symbol of power around which legends are created. The Dragon then can rise higher than any other sign and when a Dragon is on a good luck cycle, its good luck can be dramatically, explosively impressive. But energy is about balance. And the balance for Dragons is that a low luck cycle for a Dragon can, sometimes, be equally and dramatically sh-tty. 

Dragons, in Chinese culture, are seen as tail-spinners. This is a tricky translation but the best I can describe it is that the Dragon uses its tail to generate power, spinning itself into positions of advantage. There are no lucky stars during the Year of the Dog to assist Dragons. So Dragons are advised to be conservative this year, especially with finances. The Dragon will have to rely on itself to spin in the right direction and avoid spinning itself into confusion. 

While there are no good luck stars to open the flow for Dragons this year, there may be a mentor, someone in your life, who could be there to steady you. Make sure your Dragon tail doesn’t swat them away.  

Dragons are advised to exercise extreme caution this year. And also restraint. Do not retaliate, not yet. Tolerance is key. Even endurance. What you endure this year can be a harvest. It can be a reserve of strength that you may not be able use now but that can grow to be unleashed in the years to come. 

1952 Water Dragon – there’s a tripping alert for Dragons born this year. Careful where you step, don’t rush, don’t lose focus or you could stumble. 

1964 Fire Dragon – you may have some lottery or gambling luck, random earnings potential. A kind benefactor may step in to assist you. If that happens, resist the urge to flaunt it. 

1976 Earth Dragon – consider every decision meticulously, analysing every possible angle. Do not go meddling into other people’s business. Focus on your own foundation first. You can’t go stomping into other lanes when your own ground is shaky. Standing still on solid ground isn’t always a bad thing. 

1988 Wood Dragon – a good time for Dragons born this year to study, to learn, to accumulate skill. Be humble and approach these improvement opportunities as a novice. It can pay off for you later in life. Adele is a 1988 Dragon. And if she stays in hibernation for another year, her comeback, when she’s ready, look the f-ck out. 

2000 Metal Dragon – celebrate a big birthday if possible. 

It is recommended for all Dragons to avoid confrontation in relationships this year. Minor disagreements can turn hostile quickly and the consequences may be disastrous. More than ever, practise understanding and patience. And make your health a priority. At the beginning of the year, see your doctor, get a full physical, with blood work, and, if you are spiritual, spend time with your spiritual community, and volunteer if that’s a viable option for you. 

Also please note these periods:
February 4 – March 5
June 6 – July 6
October 8 – November 6

These may be particularly intense times so be very careful. You may want to try finding a gold monkey charm and keeping it close by.  

In February and March, avoid drama and do not talk sh-t. You don’t want to increase the heat around you now. 

In March and April, think of the big picture, do not be quick to anger. In May and June, hold back, it’s not the time to be aggressive. In June and July, relax, slow down, listen to your body. In July and August, you don’t always have to go for the quick win. Sometimes, taking a step back, a temporary L will bring bigger victories ahead. 

From January 6 to February 3, 2019, you may start to see improvements as the cloud passes. Stay vigilant though. No one likes the dude who starts celebrating too early and fumbles on the 1 year line. 

Once every 12 years, a Dragon, who can often rise quicker and faster than so many other signs, is due for a low luck period. Yes, right now, that seems like it’s some suck ass news. But with luck and energy and feng shui, it’s important to remember that it’s never rigid. We do have a say in how we manage these cycles. It can’t hurt to be patient, to conserve and to harvest instead of pushing and flashing. And the bonus of being a Dragon is that your conservation can yield a bigger reward in the end, or at least a more immediate one. That’s the way of the Dragon, capable of the most spectacular highs of the zodiac, remember? What the principles of luck are saying here is that if a Dragon can’t take an occasional plateau, does s/he deserve that brilliant, dazzling signature Dragon shine? If played right, the long game for the Dragon can be as bright as anyone’s. Long term success then depends on the years when you bank your luck instead of spending it. Look at this as an opportunity. Don’t be afraid, be good to others, hang back for a minute, and when it’s time to roar again, you could be more powerful than ever. 

Yours in gossip,