Meghan and Gwyneth’s Wellness Cinematic Universe

Yesterday in Celebrity Social Media, I wondered if Tracy Anderson commenting about being in her own kitchen was a wink to Meghan Sussex and combined with Gwyneth’s vague comments in Vanity Fair, I wondered if there was a bit of a chill in the Montecito breeze.

Turns out it wasn’t “disinterest” but strategy. Gwyneth and Meghan were saving their collective capital for the right moment and that moment wasn’t a red carpet or a glossy party, but a casual Q&A on Instagram Stories. Gwyneth does Q&As often and this one was pretty standard: she promoted G. Label, gave some wellness tips, talked about advice for women founders and then she was asked, “Are you comprehending the Meghan Markle beef that social media says you two have?” while Gwyneth panned to Meghan, sitting in the kitchen eating pie. 

Love them or hate them, this is unintentionally hilarious because it is going to make so many people mad. After a few days of the story building and building (and remember, GP would have given those quotes to Vanity Fair months ago), they executed the reveal flawlessly. They worked the gossip cycle in their favour, leaning into the baseline annoyance people have for Gwyneth and the hysteria they have for Meghan. The timing is impeccable: Meghan is coming off her promo tour with a season two ready to go and Gwyneth, well, she’s constantly promoting herself. Raise a glass of non-GMO organic wine stomped by Benedictine monks to these two. They did it. Finally, a win for rich, beautiful women!

On the surface, these two are in very similar lanes and actually share quite a few things in common: they both have podcasts and both have had shows for Netflix (Meghan’s is much more popular). Both transitioned from acting (although Meghan was more self-made). Both were married once before. Both have a girl and a boy. Both have had staffing issues and bumps with their business, both run e-commerce websites, and both have wavy hair (Meghan’s is much shinier). The medium they use is the same but the message is quite different: Meghan hasn’t sold any products yet and she is not in the wellness space that Gwyneth occupies. 

Meghan is lifestyle and while wellness and lifestyle sometimes crossover, not in her case. As much as there is a heaving criticism of Meghan, the worst thing you can actually say about her is she a bit bland. She hasn’t promoted dubious medical advice or platformed people with very questionable credentials. All she’s done is make sun tea and green waffles and excel at being a royal. (I will never get over how perfect she was for that job and how badly The Firm fumbled it.) 

Can you imagine the quiet satisfaction simmering below the surface, both of them knowing that everyone thinks they hate each other while they film this video? The smugness must taste better than honey right out of the beehive, which they also have. 

What’s next? A Goop feature on Meghan, a studio chat about entrepreneurship (they can interview each other for their respective podcasts), and maybe a season two cameo (it’s already filmed, so Netflix would have to keep that under wraps). Will Meghan be a guest speaker at the next Goop-a-palooza? Will GP host the jam launch? The possibilities are endless. Until then, they can sleep comfortably on their French linen sheets (a gift from Oprah) knowing that this will make their haters melt down faster than a vagina candle.