Two months ago, it was Page Six that broke the news that Brad Pitt was spending time with architect, artist, and academic Neri Oxman. It was what we call a “great scoop” in the gossip business. And, remember, before that point, Dr Oxman wasn’t exactly a celebrity gossip fixture. So it’s not just that the “scoop” was intriguing, it was how the “scoop” was placed, and who did the placing. Being associated with Dr Oxman certainly boosted Brad’s cred. 

Page Six is once again giving us an update on Dr Oxman’s love life. You’ll recall, prior to being connected with Brad, Dr Oxman was dating billionaire Bill Ackman. Bill Ackman is a dick swinger. There is a LOT of dick swinging happening in this story: 

Noted architect/designer Oxman made a trip to Paris last weekend to see her activist investor beau Ackman compete in the Finance Cup — the tennis tournament in which former pro and top college players working full-time in finance face off.

We hear alluring Oxman sat courtside cheering on her boyfriend, and that the pair seemed very much in love. The two were openly affectionate and later attended a party for the tournament as a couple.

Joked one source, “Bill won his match, and has won the girl. Brad Pitt will need to up his tennis game — and his educational degrees — if he wants such a super impressive, and highly intellectual woman.”


What a f-cking douchebag. Only a douchebag comes up with a “joke” like this. This is some “marking my territory” bullsh-t. And Dr Neri Oxman is apparently officially a tennis trophy. After peeing a circle around her, the rest of the story becomes a tennis report, all about how Bill’s game is so good he can hit with ranked players. Because in addition to being Dr Oxman’s boyfriend, Bill Ackman wants you to know that he coulda been Roger Federer if he wasn’t so busy being a billionaire. Um, noted. 

So where does this leave Brad Pitt? 

According to PEOPLE’s source, the same one who managed to say, in the same sentence, that Brad “doesn’t talk badly” about Angelina Jolie but that everything is “her fault”: 

“He has spent more time with Neri, but isn’t in a relationship with her,” the source explains. “He seems very fascinated by her.”

So to put it in Bill Ackman’s tennis terms, Brad is down two sets but he’ll chase down every ball, he’ll be the scrappy, never-give-up Rafa to Bill’s Roger, and he’ll come back to force a fifth and final set.