I know better than to pine after f-ckboy and thirstmaster Noah Centineo, but also apparently I don’t because I’m currently the human embodiment of the heart eyes emoji after watching the new trailer for Netflix’s Perfect Date which dropped yesterday. Noah plays Brooks Rattigan (what a name), a high school student who dreams of driving a fast car, going to Yale, and dating the hottest girl in school. To pay for this dream, he stumbles into a financial opportunity where he basically becomes the PG13 version of an escort for high school girls, and they can tailor their date any way they want to. His first date, Celia (Laura Marano) ends up helping him with his business and eventually he ends up with beautiful and popular Shelby (Camila Mendes from Riverdale). The trailer is cute and funny, and it has all the makings of a good old-fashioned rom com. Maybe it’ll be everything that Sierra Burgess is a Loser wasn’t. At the very least, this is the perfect snack to whet our appetite while we wait impatiently for PS I Still Love You to come out. 

Lainey has informed me that Perfect Date is similar to the 80s movie Some Kind of Wonderful. Shamefully, I had to look it up because all of my 80s knowledge comes from Stranger Things at this point – I’m THAT young. I like that they’ve modernized the plot a bit. Instead of a boy asking a girl out, Brooks is the high school version of a Silicon Valley entrepreneur. He turns himself into a hired date service, where girls can request him for different occasions and tailor their experiences based on the event and their personal preferences. Brook’s motivation is his desire to pay for Yale, his dream college. (Although, it looks like Brooks develops this date app by himself so why doesn’t he just get a scholarship if he’s that smart? Hormones probably.) A high schooler selling himself to pay for college by developing an app? This movie really is a Gen Z rom-com!

Another question, can guys request him on dates as well? Asking for a friend. 

This movie was basically made for Noah Centineo. Noah’s image rests on being the lovable boy-next-door-teen-heartthrob-good-guy-but-not-that-good-if-you-know-what-I-mean. Movies like Perfect Date are his bread and butter, solidifying his popularity enough to win Favourite Movie Actor at the Kids' Choice Awards and pandering to his fanbase of teens and adults alike. When it was announced last week that Noah was going to be playing He-Man, it was hilarious because it seemed like a joke. It’s hard to see Peter Kavinsky as a beefed-up superhero, especially one that’s supposed to carry Sony’s new superhero franchise. 

Perfect Date is like insurance. Noah knows he can hit this role out of the park because he has carefully tailored his image and his PR to suit it. I also know that we’re all going to watch it on April 12. And we’re also all going to watch PS I Still Love You when it comes out. In a booming thirst economy, Noah is the wealthy elite and he knows it. But there will be a point where that well runs dry. How deep is that well? Is it even a well or was it a puddle to begin with?