As Kathleen mentioned in her Shawn Mendes post earlier today, we are DISTRACTED. Shawn Mendes is distracting us in his "Lost in Japan" music video. I got on a group chat today with Sasha, Duana, and our other two friends Lara and Amy today to make them join the distraction. Amy was in. So was Sasha. Lara declined. And Duana, always and of course the contrarian, decided she prefers Tim Robbins. I don’t know how the f-ck she got from Shawn Mendes to Tim Robbins but that’s Duana. Duana also prefers Noah Centineo to Shawn Mendes. Amy is stuck between Shawn and Timothee Chalamet and it occurred to me, we have a hair-off situation here. All of them have good hair. Similar-ish hair. 

Want to play? 

Who wins in a Hair-Off? Noah Centineo, Shawn Mendes, or Timothee Chalamet

Here’s how I see it.  

Third Place: Noah Centineo


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Not just because I’m over him. But because I’m over his go-to hairstyle. Noah has f-ckboy hair. That would be because he’s probably a f-ckboy. Oh come on. You know this. In real life he is not Peter Kavinsky, he’s all LA, which, no doubt, is cool for the summer but cool for the summer and just the summer. 

Can you picture Noah in a tuxedo with appropriate tuxedo hair? The correct answer is NO. You can’t. He hasn’t yet looked all that great in a suit – at least he’s given us no evidence of it. So he loses points on f-ckboy-ness and versatility too. 

Second Place: Shawn Mendes


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Unlike Noah Centineo, we have seen Shawn Mendes look great – really, really great – in a suit. With suitable hair (ha!). Shawn’s hair has worked on a red carpet, in a beautifully tailored suit, and Shawn’s hair works when it’s messy, a little wet even, with a couple of locks tumbling over onto his forehead. Like when he performs and works up a sweat and he’s having too good of a time to care that his hair is now all tousled and messy and sexy. 

Sometimes, though, Shawn’s hair can get a little doo-woppy and/or puffy for my taste. Where Noah’s hair is f-ckboy dirty, Shawn’s hair is still a little too earnest. I need to know that that hair can get wild, I need believe that there’s some edge to it, that it can be bad when it needs to be. 

First Place: Timothee Chalamet


Versatility. That’s what we’re looking for here. He’s the class of this class. Casual hair, good. Formal hair, good. Sex hair, definitely. Fashion forward hair? Also good. He was walking around with a bowl cut a few weeks ago! And you know what? It didn’t take away from anything. Because he’s willing to try. Because he has the widest range of all the competitors in this hair-off. Which means he’ll never be stuck in a hair rut. Which means you can’t define him by his hair. It’s not f-ckboy hair. It’s not pretty boy hair. It’s not frat boy hair. It’s not pretentious arty asshole hair. It’s just excellent hair. 

The best hair. 


Or are we fighting?