Nicky Hilton Paris Hilton’s new partnership Your favourite spread eagled slut has attached herself to Oscar winners Three 6 Mafia for an upcoming recording collaboration in yet another pathetic attempt to become more than just a hole with money. How did she manage to whore out this deal? Well…how do you think? Look at these By Lainey • Mar 30, 2006 07:00 am
Jennifer Aniston Jen & Vince in Chicago Thanks to the lovely Susan Z for passing these along. Bystander photos of Jen and Vince doing reshoots for The Break Up in Chicago. According to the photographer, Vince is “really hot and a lot skinnier”, while Jen is quite attractive and very, very thin. Have to tell you, as By Lainey • Mar 30, 2006 07:00 am
Tori Spelling The Daily Pick-me-Up: Tori Spelling Just what I needed on a day like today. Having a stylist dress you is a truly amazing experience. Thank you Jessa! But I nearly lost my neurotic mind over having to squeeze into a gorgeous designer gown. It also doesn’t help when you hang out at eTalk all By Lainey • Mar 30, 2006 07:00 am
Naomi Campbell Naomi Campbell beats a bitch down Admit it. How can you not love this psychotic bitch? She’s demented beyond rescue, she’s more dramatic than drama, and I don’t know about you, but I can’t get enough of her. Because the catwalk’s most notorious roughneck was arrested yet again in NY today By Lainey • Mar 30, 2006 07:00 am
Matt Damon Matt Leblanc getting divorced Matt Leblanc getting divorced You must have heard by now, right? That after 3 years of marriage, Matt LeBlanc is splitting from his wife Melissa McKnight? Too bad, so sad, yet another Hollywood hookup gone awry. But the real question is - Do you smell it? Something stinks, y’all. By Lainey • Mar 30, 2006 07:00 am
Victoria Beckham The Beckhams at the game Speaking of Romeo, check out his brother Brooklyn with his mother in the VIP box watching daddy play. She"s pretty cute with her kids, non? Especially when there are cameras about. My sources are buzzing overseas that Vicky"s been having a hell of a time getting By Lainey • Mar 28, 2006 07:00 am
Destiny’s Child: freak times 3 Photo from Dlisted Ummmm…is it just me or do these broads look possessed? The girls arrived to receive their star on the Walk of Fame and I can’t look at them any longer than absolutely necessary. Especially Beyonce. Her Tussaud wax figure is more lifelike. Three dead heads, By Lainey • Mar 28, 2006 07:00 am
The Daily Ugly: Julia Roberts for Gianfranco Ferre While it gives me great pleasure to trash the indomitable Mrs Moder, I do think that Julia is quite lovely when she’s not baring her horse teeth and honking like a demonised goose. Too bad her personality sucks donkey ass. But I digress. Julia Roberts has great cheekbones. She By Lainey • Mar 28, 2006 07:00 am
Last Word Fresh smut from Toronto on Thursday night. Til then, I am yours in gossip, Lainey By Lainey • Mar 28, 2006 07:00 am
Matt Damon Missing Minnie While we"re on the subject of instability…how about Minnie Driver? Do you miss her? I miss her. Because I like her. She"s a crazy bitch and she reeks of desperation (will the poor thing ever get over Will Hunting?) but she"s also hilarious By Lainey • Mar 28, 2006 07:00 am
Apple out and about Apple Martin, on the other hand, is an absolute precious doll. Biased? Me? You don’t f&cking say! But come on, y’all. Look at this child. Her mother might be fingernails on chalkboard but the progeny is pretty perfect. Apple and Romeo. Romeo and his Apple. Can By Lainey • Mar 28, 2006 07:00 am
Eric Dane Mary Louise Parker at the CFDA nominations One of my favourites, particularly on the West Wing. Who wouldn’t sympathise with a woman deserted in her 8th month? But as much as I adore Mary Louise Parker, I am also very frightened by the size of her mouth. Was it always this big? On a related note, By Lainey • Mar 28, 2006 07:00 am
Ben Affleck Introducing Violet Affleck Everybody’s talking about it. The first semi-clear photo of 4 month old Violet Affleck, lovingly held by her mother. Like all babies, she’s cute as hell. But because of her mother, I"m too bored to say anything else. Jennifer Garner is nothing if not taupe. By Lainey • Mar 28, 2006 07:00 am
Kevin Federline JLH: two faced and slutty For the love of Audrey, would this skank ass bitch PLEASE stop pretending she’s Hepburn? Ain’t gonna happen, honey. Because Audrey would never have let Wilmer Valderrama try out his 8 inches in her high class garage. She also wouldn’t blaze a trampy trail through half of By Lainey • Mar 28, 2006 07:00 am
George Clooney George Clooney has bad taste Look. I know that despite some rather kinky predilections, the man is almost perfect . I know you want him on the Freebie 5. But something"s been holding me back, aside from the fact that he might be just a tad out of my maturity range. The thing is By Lainey • Mar 28, 2006 07:00 am
Jennifer Aniston Kevin (still) hates Reese If you read my column from a couple of weeks ago, you are probably already familiar with the fact that Reese Witherspoon is not high on Kevin Smith’s love list. And even though that article was written a few years ago, Kevin’s hate-on is still erect and pulsing. By Lainey • Mar 28, 2006 07:00 am
