Cardi B appeared on the debut episode of The Jason Lee Show. During their conversation, she dished on everything from Takeoff’s death to why she decided not to divorce Offset in 2020, just one example of the ups and downs of their relationship.
According to Cardi, it was because Offset wanted to “change” for her. Satisfied with the effort she was seeing from him, she withdrew her divorce application two months after she filed and it was dismissed without prejudice.
"Me and Offset, we was not seeing eye-to-eye,” she said. “This was like, the same year I filed for divorce and everything…I'm gonna let him talk about this because the main thing that was really bothering me…I'm gonna let him say it,” she said.
She didn’t get into specifics, but it’s obvious she’s alluding to Offset’s infidelity. After tying the knot in 2017, the next few years of their marriage were riddled with rumours of Offset’s cheating. Blogs couldn’t get enough of the allegations, often sharing what women who allege some sort of involvement with him would send over to them. That included screenshots, text messages, or videos like this, in which a woman says Offset was messaging her on Instagram. Cardi B responded to this allegation at the time, saying Offset’s Instagram account had been hacked.
Another woman, named Celina Powell, came forward alleging she was pregnant with Offset’s baby. But Cardi B was quick to call her bluff and reshared old articles that showed she had made similar claims in the past. Celina was called out by hip-hop blogs for lying, using ultrasound pictures to help support her case. She also appeared on an episode of Face The Truth where Vivica A Fox grilled her over her lies and efforts to destroy Offset’s career and marriage.
In the interview with Jason Lee, though, Cardi B was asked about a more high-profile infidelity rumour, Saweetie, who also dated Migos rapper Quavo. In his song, Messy, Quavo alleges that something took place between Offset and Saweetie, which sent fans down a rabbit hole trying to figure out if this was what sparked the Migos breakup.
Jason Lee asked her why she remained uncharacteristically quiet on social media as rumour and speculation swirled that her husband had messed around with his bandmate’s ex-girlfriend.
“You know why I was quiet? I was quiet because one thing I’m gonna do, I’m gonna find out the truth…and you know that I was finding out that truth in and out. So it’s like, if I entertain something I know is not true on the internet, people say ‘Oh, it is true because you’re addressing it,’ she explained. “But when I don’t address it, it’s true as well. So I’m not gonna entertain the bullsh-t because at the end of the day, I know what’s going on in my house.”
Be that as it may, everyone else seems to know what’s going on in her house, too, thanks to her history of being a very active social media user.
Back in 2017, Cardi and Offset did a breakup and makeup on social media, posting images with captions alluding to being single, followed by a public apology and a few more posts indicating that their short feud had come to an end and they were happily back together.
Earlier that year, though, Cardi B said in an interview that she was happier before she became famous and had amassed all her wealth. She also discussed the mental health issues that can come from being a celebrity and the sense that you have no ownership of your life. So though I’ve always admired her brutal honesty, I do feel like constantly posting to social media exacerbated this for her, particularly when it came to her relationship with Offset. It’s part of the reason I’m thrilled to see her posting less about the intimate details of their marriage and lending her voice instead to spotlight other issues, like the skyrocketing price of groceries.
Perhaps the most interesting revelation from the entire interview with Jason Lee is the idea that she filed for divorce because she wanted to “teach him a lesson”, something she also discussed around the time of her filing and immediately after it.
Between addressing the divorce through her OnlyFans account, and in this two-part voice note she posted to Twitter in October 2020, she reminded followers that it was her life and she would make whatever decisions she pleases. Her decision to address the public via social media came after several fans suggested she was in an abusive relationship, claims she vehemently denied.
If the range of Cardi B’s emotions and reactions to Offset’s infidelity prove one thing, it’s that she, like the rest of us, is a nuanced human being. But it also shows there is more than one way to deal with a cheater. She has three incredibly different, but common reactions, and it’s almost as if she’s representing three different types of women.
The first is the woman who denies that she’s being cheated on. Cardi B certainly had a right to denounce some of the allegations because some of them, like the case of Celina Powell, were simply not true. But she even denied the truthful allegations. In her interview with Jason, she admits to spending many sleepless nights crying over the media frenzy that arose whenever a new infidelity allegation surfaced. It was getting to her, she just tried her best to hide it.
The second is the woman who defends her man, despite his wrongdoings. As she was filing for divorce, she was also defending him against those abuse allegations. When that swath of fans flooded her mentions accusing him of abuse, she tried setting the record straight. She defended Offset by suggesting she was the abusive one – and they were just “dysfunctional”.
She continued on with these sentiments on her OnlyFans, saying:
"You cannot hurt my feelings trying to throw the divorce in my face because, at the end of the day, I decided I wanted to leave," PEOPLE reported her saying. "I didn't wait until he cheated on me again. I didn't wait [for] another controversy with him being involved. I decided to leave. If I wanted to stay, I could have stayed. I decided to leave."
The third is the type of woman who stays. After all their previous breakups, she withdrew her application for a divorce. Whether she would’ve actually gone through with the divorce, who knows? But deciding to stay not only completely cancels out the point she made about leaving being an indication that she wasn’t being abused, it also suggests there might be some truth to the very tweet she responded to about manipulation and leaving.
That’s why while I admire her for teaching him the lesson and letting him know she wasn’t afraid to walk, I’m worried that by not actually walking, he might do it again, and she might feel the need to be quiet about it to not get the collective, “We told you so!” from the naysayers.
Back then, in her divorce filing, she said the marriage is "irretrievably broken" and "there are no prospects for a reconciliation," according to PEOPLE. But two months later, there was a reconciliation. And after that, another child.
Women are often raised to believe that mistreatment is a form of admiration. That boy teasing you on the playground? He must just have a crush on you. Sentiments like this have fundamentally complicated our understanding of what love looks like and have made us more susceptible to tolerating toxic and unhealthy behaviour. As a result of this, some women are quick to victimize men, or chalk it up to “them not knowing any better”. But it takes a lot of intelligence to be unfaithful. And I’m worried that Offset won’t quit being unfaithful, he’ll just get better at it. And he’ll get better at convincing her to stay each time.
One thing I’ve always struggled with when I leave relationships is feeling like the woman who gets the guy I’ve just left gets to enjoy all the fruits of my labour. I may have taught him, but I didn’t stick around to enjoy it. Why? Because when I get the ick, it’s hard to come back from that. But also because I know that for the most part, whatever changes they say they’ll make have an expiration date. In other words, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.
Whether it’s the lesson of how to treat women, how to be faithful, how to have good sex, how to communicate - the most crucial part of the lesson, for me, has always been leaving. In part because there are not many men that have been worth me sticking around for. But more so because there is a certain lesson that loss teaches you that can’t be replicated. So despite the love-bombing that may be happening when he appears at your door in the middle of the night with roses and promises of big changes, it’s not all that convincing to me as a person that understands the illusion.
Despite Cardi B’s denial that there is abuse happening in the relationship, I think we can all agree that there certainly is toxicity. And it all goes back to their kids, which, so often, are the reason people stay in unhealthy relationships. Making their marriage work can only come after making their marriage healthy. And though I’m glad to see her maturing, I’d hate to see her lose all the progress she’s made if he ever reverts back to his old ways.
Attached- Cardi B at a court hearing at Queens County Criminal Court for a compliance hearing yesterday in New York.
