Former Love Is Blind contestant Clay Gravesande is catching a lot of heat on social media from fans and family after his new relationship with YouTuber and OnlyFans model, Celina Powell, became Instagram official earlier this week when Celina posted this reel on Monday.
Fans of the show wasted no time expressing what seemed to be a collective disappointment in his choice to get involved with Celina. Let’s just say she’s got a bit of a history of dealing with famous men, and then exposing them after their encounters for content and clicks. In fact, she was the woman who alleged she was pregnant by Offset, which I touched on in this article.
The other reason for the widespread disappointment is stemming from the fact that many people were gunning for a Black marriage on the show. But Clay walked away from his Love Is Blind romance with the beautiful, talented and fan favourite, AD. And chiming in on his new relationship and making her own disappointment known, of course, was his mother, Margarita, who was perhaps the show’s biggest fan favourite of all.
Margarita became well-known and admired for her relaxed, chill demeanor and the close relationship she shared with her son. But there was one conversation on the show in particular that earned her a permanent spot in the hearts of the millions of viewers.
Immediately following Clay announcing his decision to not marry AD on their wedding day, Margarita had a very candid conversation with Clay’s father, who had a long history of being unfaithful to her, in addition to a swath of new revelations only becoming known to her as Clay explored his childhood with producers. There was something about the way she broke down how Clay’s dad’s actions and infidelity instilled a sense of fear in their son to take the plunge and tie the knot, afraid he’d never be able to fulfill the responsibilities of a husband, because his dad certainly couldn’t, that really stimulated people. She really eloquently gathered him up, to an audience of millions of cheering fans. And that scene led to quite a few larger conversations and think pieces about marriage in Black families and generational trauma, some written by Black men themselves who saw similarities in their family dynamic to Clay’s.
So it only makes sense that in this instance with her son’s new love interest, she eloquently gathered Clay (and Celina) up, too. In response to being sent DMs and a bunch of Celina’s racy videos, Margarita posted this message on her Instagram, addressed to her son:
Just hours later, Clay responded, saying he had received his mom’s message loud and clear, apologizing to her and apparently calling it quits with Celina, who subsequently unfollowed him on Instagram and made a post mouthing the lines to a Tupac song where he says, “F-ck you and your motherf-cking mama.”
So how is it that this case, which, by all measures, just appears to be a simple case of family drama, where a man’s mom doesn’t approve of his new girlfriend, turn into a situation that millions of social media users are now entrenched in? And actually have a say in - considering the fact that it was fans who made sure to sound the alarm about his relationship with Celina?
We’ve explored parasocial relationships as it pertains to celebrities before. And it was one of the mentions in this Refinery29 article that explored why we get so attached to people we watch or listen to. Yet, with none of the parties involved in this specific story quite fitting the criteria of “celebrity”, why have we built such strong parasocial relationships with Clay? And an allegiance to AD? And why have so many people latched onto his mother?
This situation is relevant for so many people right now is because it lends itself to a larger discussion being had on social media in recent weeks about a particular phenomenon where Black men like Clay forego women like AD in preference of a woman like Celina.
A few weeks ago, the “Black wife effect” started trending on TikTok. It’s a compilation of videos where men showcase what they looked like prior to dating or marrying and ultimately being styled by their Black partner. The glow-ups are insane, and here is one of my favourites from a couple in Toronto.
@koltertalks The Black Wife Effect is my Roman Empire #relationshipgoals #interracialcouple #blackwomen #glowup #bwwm
♬ original sound - Kolter Bouchard
There are Black male content creators, however, that have taken issue with this, and are now on TikTok calling Black women out for hypocrisy and even saying that Black women who marry white men have a “white man saviour complex”.
Black women have started responding to these claims, speaking to well-documented research that shows that while Black men are twice as likely as Black women to have a spouse of a different ethnicity, Black women are the least likely to date outside their race. Essentially, Black men are the ones choosing to forego the ADs of the world and end up with a Celina.
So yes, despite the fact that for the most part, this is just a family issue, I think the point here is how much of a mirror into society we get by watching these shows and staying up to date with the key players long after its show over. We build that parasocial relationship by following them, but they foster it, too. Because Margarita could’ve picked up the phone, and I’m sure she did. But she also addressed the internet, which fuels our sense of entitlement to have a seat at these family discussions.
Miss Margarita became the conduit for accountability. Very rarely do we get the closure we seek in situations, especially with complex family issues. But in this case, we got to watch as Margarita confronted her cheating ass husband who was unfaithful for most of their 20 years together, while being presented with new information. Who wouldn’t want to be a fly on the wall for that conversation?
In David Dennis Jr.’s piece that I linked to above, he explores why and how Clay became one of the “most fascinating” people on reality TV. And he wasn’t exaggerating in saying that. People were really drawn into Clay’s story, into this family’s story, because it made visible the experiences so many people had in their own childhoods, and what that looks like particularly in Black families. Clay became a conduit for people to navigate and question some of the things they perhaps hadn’t known, thought of, or dealt in their own lives. And even for the ones who weren’t approaching it that way, it was just entertaining and insightful as hell to watch.
