Robert Pattinson is currently shooting The Batman – a first look at him in the suit was released last week and Sarah was very much onside. There’s all kinds of time for us to talk about RP as Bruce Wayne later so let’s talk instead about him being an ambassador for Dior (it’s been a few years now) and promoting the new fragrance. 

I get it about scents. Scents can set a mood. Some scenes are repellant. We all know what happens when you walk into an elevator and the scent of a douchebag lingers – there are certain fragrances specifically marketed to douchebags; pretty sure you’re not even smelling it and you THINK you’re smelling it, right? 

Once in a while though, a scent can make you horny. I have a friend, a woman, who wears men’s cologne and it is so f-cking sexy on her that it’s a distraction at work. And it doesn’t even have to, officially, be like a bottled scent. Certain people have a natural musk that just happens to be erotic –but not to everyone, just for the people they might be chemically matched to. 

I’m not curious about how everyone smells. But I do have a list. I would like to know how Taehyung aka V from BTS smells, even though Jungkook is my favourite. That curiosity, weirdly, does not extend to JK, just Tae. Steph Curry is on my list, with no disrespect to his wife Ayesha. He just looks like he smells good. Just in case it’s not clear though, I love Steph and Ayesha together and have a boner for both of them – especially after seeing this: 


A post shared by Wardell Curry (@stephencurry30) on

That said, I’ve never been curious about smelling Robert Pattinson. Maybe because it wasn’t a question? To me he looks like he smells like cigarettes and hotel linens – not in a bad way, but my point is that it didn’t seem like it would be a mystery. 

Turns out that’s wrong because in a new interview with Allure to promote the Dior fragrance, when asked what he smells like, here’s his response:

Lots of people tell me I smell like a crayon.

Allure: Like you’re made of wax?

R.P.: Yes! Like I’m embalmed.

Another classic Robert Pattinson bonkers interview moment. It’s probably not even true, since he’s admitted to talking all kinds of sh-t when he’s doing press. 

Robert isn’t all jokes here though – he gets it exactly right when describing the best smell in the world:

“Definitely the scent of when you're in love with someone, and the smell is incredible. It brings out an animal side of being human.”

Correct. My husband’s sleep smell is probably no one’s favourite – and it’s definitely funky – but I go in for a sniff every morning because it’s the thing that’s mine, it’s primitive. 

As for the worst smell in the world, according to Robert Pattinson? 

“And the worst smell… um. I don't really mind grimy stuff. I love the smell of things people really hate, but burning hair is revolting.”

Funny you say that, RP, because did you know what happened to Kathleen on her birthday? I’ll show you:


A post shared by Kathleen Newman-Bremang (@kathleennb) on

I wasn’t there for the hair-burning part but I met up with them afterwards at a bar and as soon as I walked in the door I could smell Kathleen’s hair. All night we had to live with her burnt hair smell, LOLOLOLOL.