Sebastian Stan showed up at the Met Gala and a bunch of us gasped because he has us locked in his tractor beam of hotness despite being deep into his scumbag era. He showed up with slicked-back hair, sunglasses, and flower decals on his black duster, looking like the villain from a 90s direct-to-video movie about cyber assassins. 


It’s not like Stan flies under the radar—he’s a recent Emmy nominee!—but it also feels like we don’t talk about him much anymore, though that might change soon. He’s an early, EARLY tip for the 2024 Best Actor race, if not for his (ill advised) Trump movie—which is going to premiere at Cannes—then for A Different Man, which earned strong reviews at Sundance, especially for Stan. Get ready for the SebStan Discourse!


😎😎😎#себастианстэнэдит #sebastianstan #себастианстэн

♬ оригинальный звук - Рина

Next up, the least annoying part of Wicked, Jonathan Bailey. The Viscount minds his business and eats his food! Bailey is wearing flower-bedecked Loewe. He is so handsome. It hurts my eyes.


#jonathanbailey at the #metgala 2024. #voguegermany #metgala2024 #bridgerton #anthonybridgerton #metgalastyle #metgalalooks #lordanthonybridgerton

♬ sonido original - • Speed Songs • 🎶❤️‍🩹

Also hurting my eyes is Kieran Culkin’s suit, which is ugly in a fun way. And I genuinely love Jazz Charton’s yellow gown and red lipstick combination. She looks great, and double points for not coordinating their fits yet still looking like they fit. Kieran Culkin: wife guy? Discuss.


Hurting my eyes in a different way is Chris Hemsworth, a co-chair of the event, who showed up in a cream three-piece suit with an unbuttoned shirt, like causal couture. Anywhere else, I wouldn’t mind this on him at all, but you KNOW the women on the carpet—and a fair few men!—took HOURS to get ready and Chris looks like he rolled into this suit five minutes before leaving the hotel. I just do not appreciate the lack of effort when the whole point of the Met Gala is maximum effort. Elsa Pataky, however, looks great in gold. 


Am I surprised they’re still married? A little! 

Now, to soothe my eyes, let us turn to Colman Domingo. For him, this is a relatively tame look, but on the carpet, Colman spoke about wanting to honor Andre Leon Talley and Chadwick Boseman. Talley is known for wearing capes and dramatic cloaks, and Boseman wore a cape when he attended the gala in 2018 (GODS do I miss Chadwick Boseman!). Colman looks great and the look is just dramatic enough to keep it from being boring.


Finally, there is Michael Shannon, with special guest chips. It’s the must-have accessory of the season, a bag of cheese & onion potato chips that you can pry out of Michael Shannon’s cold, dead hands. I would pay real human money to see someone try to take those chips from Michael Shannon. It’s the only Met Gala narrative I’m interested in. What happened to Michael Shannon’s chips?