Today got off to a dark start, so let’s take a break and look at some beautiful people. The Time 100 Gala was last night in New York, and the beautiful people showed up. Like, Dev Patel was there. That’s enough for me. Just let me gaze upon his visage and think about how tall he is—so tall!—and how great his hair is—so great!—and how much I enjoyed Monkey Man—so much! He stood next to Callum Turner and made Turner 10% more handsome. Dev Patel is so generous! Let’s ogle the beautiful people and rate how much we want to gossip with them.


Would gossip with in the loo

Dua Lipa, though her dress is hideous, is probably good for a brief bathroom gossip sesh. Ditto for Fantasia Barrino, I MUST know what she discusses with Taraji P. Henson! Kylie Minogue is honestly probably a great gossip, but I would be intimated because she is An Icon and I would deliberately limit my time to one handwash cycle, so as not to impose upon her. It’s only right and polite! 


Would gossip over breadsticks

Look, celebrities don’t eat bread, but there is a type of person you can only gossip with for the length of an appetizer. They’re just so busy, darling! They don’t stay in one seat for long. I feel like this would be Da’Vine Joy Randolph and Maya Rudolph. They know too many people, too many people want a moment of their time. You have their attention for as long as one basket of breadsticks lasts, and no more. The breadsticks are endless, but the gossip is not!


I’m actually scared of you

Friend Of Taylor, Brittany Mahomes is probably a very nice person but she looks like every sorority girl I’ve ever seen, so I do not want to gossip with her because I am afraid she would make me hide in a bathroom stall and cry. I have no college party trauma, why do you ask!


Don’t waste my time

Jack Antonoff, he will never spill Taylor secrets. Callum Turner, he would never spill Dua Lipa OR Austin Butler secrets. 


Sirs! You are entirely too much!

You KNOW the best gossips in the room are Billy Porter and Colman Domingo. This is not in question. The only question is what do they gossip about? Fellow party-goers? Mutual acquaintances? Fashion people? Inquiring minds want to know! 

Let's Squawk about it! (app link here)