Look. It’s the cover of the November issue of Vanity Fair featuring Moses Martin’s Uncle Jay. What? But Gwyneth Paltrow, didn’t she send a note out to all her homies telling them to boycott the magazine? That report came from The New York Times too, so it’s not like we’re not legit here. She tried to blacklist Graydon Carter…and now one of her best friends is smiling on the front page.

Come on. That just made your Tuesday.

Even better, in order to cover Vanity Fair, Jay Z had to play. As you know, Jay and Beyonce rarely talk about each other, unless it’s on their terms, for their own vanity projects, like the documentary she directed about herself. But you don’t get a Vanity Fair profile unless you’re willing to discuss. In other words, G’s BFF not only said yes to Vanity Fair, he also submitted to their questioning.

Jay chose Vanity Fair over GOOP!

Highlights from the interview:

I laughed when I read the part where Jay compares being a sports agent to a drug dealer. To him it’s the skill. True.

He also admits to the selfish nature of drug dealing. Sure, it was survival. But it was also superficial:

…when asked if he ever felt guilty about contributing to what was becoming an epidemic, he says, “Not until later, when I realized the effects on the community. I started looking at the community on the whole, but in the beginning, no. I was thinking about surviving. I was thinking about improving my situation. I was thinking about buying clothes.”

And then there’s Beyonce. Courting Beyonce. The prerequisite?

Cool.

He had to be cool.

“Well, you know, you’ve got to try first. You got to dazzle . . . wine and dine.” He tells Robinson that “of course” he pursued Beyoncé, and when asked if he hadn’t been Jay Z—say, he had been a gas-station attendant and she pulled up—would he have been able to date her, he responds, “If I’m as cool as I am, yes. But she’s a charming Southern girl, you know, she’s not impressed. . . . But I would have definitely had to be this cool.” Jay confirms that the line on his latest album, “She was a good girl ’til she knew me” is about Beyoncé, and when Robinson asks if she’s not a good girl anymore, Jay laughs, saying, “Nah. She’s gangsta now.”

That’s cute, right? It’s cute that B had to be earned. And it’s what I’ve always liked about them. In the selection of their partners, they knew their own value. Beyonce is a f-cking boss. She married a f-cking boss.

Click here to read more from Jay Z in Vanity Fair, including his comments on that nonsense about them faking her pregnancy.